I'm going to begin as close to the beginning as I can. In 1997, my dad attended church with a work friend. My dad and mom grew up in church, but they had moved from Indiana to Louisiana in 1995, and they hadn't found a church in which they felt comfortable. This church was not the first church they'd attended since the move, but it was the place my dad finally felt comfortable. He attended for a while before he brought Mom and us to a service. But once Mom attended, it wasn't long before we were in attendance every week. That was in the summer of 1998. I was almost 6, and Ashley was turning 4.
This church wasn't small. Even before what is now the main sanctuary was built, it wasn't a small church. Children's church had separate classes for ones, twos, threes, fours, and fives. The six through twelves were all together on the second floor of what is now the administration building. I don't remember a lot about being in the five-year-olds, but I do remember being in the big room with the sixes and up. The boys and girls sat on opposite sides of the room, which was a problem for me when we brought my best friend because he was a boy, and I wasn't allowed to sit by him. I can remember singing songs and listening to the children's church pastor talk to us. I remember one lesson about the 'womb' being inside a mommy's tummy and talking about Jesus being in Mary's tummy. (It's strange the things I can remember from childhood.)
I remember when the new main sanctuary was being built and when it opened on Easter (of 1999, I believe). We were very happy in children's church because we got to be in a sanctuary (the old main sanctuary) instead of the second floor of the admin building. I remember praying blessings over the foundation of what would be the cafetorium (cafeteria and auditorium spaces combined) and rec center before the walls were up. Basically, while we weren't there from the beginning in 1987 (my parents weren't even married in 1987), my family was around for a lot of milestones in the church. And my family has now been a part of that church longer than the amount of years the church existed before we joined it. (It existed for 10ish years before we joined, and we have been there for 17ish years.)
When I was younger. I've marked the day I got saved as sometime in November of 2000. I responded to an alter call on a Wednesday night in children's church. When I got a little older, I realized that I didn't quite understand what I was doing when I responded to that alter call, and I really only did it because every one else was doing it. It was around 2002 when I truly made the decision to commit my young life to God, and I did so with the understanding of what I was doing. I don't remember anything specific like the date or even the month. But I do remember it was an alter call in 'big church' (the main sanctuary), and afterward those of us that responded went to the choir room and got a little booklet that told us about the commitment we'd just made. One of my current best friends' mom was the one who talked to me. (*coughs* Rachel)
When I was 9, I started working as a helper in children's church. When I was 10, I started working in the media ministry with my parents. When I was 13, I started going to the youth services on Wednesdays. Around this time I also started working with the worship team in children's church doing hand motions for the songs. They also let me sing at one point, and whoever made that decision really shouldn't have. I, also, had a brief position as the person who made the lyrics screens for the children to follow along with while they sang. I think I passed that off on Ashley...
My youth days were special. I had a talent for making friends. (LOADS OF SARCASM!) And I have some pretty great parents who never told me who I could and could not be friends with, so that led to some fun times. (That was both serious and sarcastic.) I make this promise, I will not go into the youth days stories now, but it will be a whole other post--probably posts--in the future.
Anyway, in my early youth days, I had some interesting friends, which lead to interesting interactions with youth leaders. We were the kids who wore all black with Converse and Hot Topic accessories, and we didn't participate in the pre-service activities in the rec center because we preferred to hang out on the leather couches and talk. Falling outs occurred, and the final friendship ended around October of 2009. Toward the end of my youth days, around June of 2009, I got super involved in church. By the January before I went to college (2010), I was going to all three services on Sundays (when there were three...there were some crazy schedules for a while), prayer on Mondays, youth on Wednesdays, and youth prayer on Fridays. Then around the summer of 2010, there was a change in youth. The youth pastor stepped down, and the group was in a brief limbo before the new youth pastor took over.
My youth pastor was the reason I got so involved. He understood us youths. He knew how to talk to us, how to hook us in, and how to make it brief enough to not lose our attention while still making an impact. He made the biblical teachings real and relevant. He was comfortable talking to us, and we were comfortable asking him real questions. When I heard he was stepping down, I was not okay. I let the change affect my spiritual life. Eventually, I used the fact that I was leaving for college in August as an excuse to drop a lot of my church related activities. I was going to church on Sundays and maybe a Wednesday here or there. I just lost all interest. I'd been going to church at least once a week for 12 years. With one change, I let it all fall away. And it's not like I hadn't gone through changes in leadership before. There were some interesting times from 2005-2008. But I felt so attached to and so comfortable with the group we'd created; I didn't like or want the change.
Then came college. I'd made myself a promise that I would take a break from church. I didn't want to find a new place while I was at school, and I didn't really want to keep going to church at home. I had become disenchanted with the church I'd grown up in. I was not finding myself in agreement with many things that were coming from the pulpit, so college became the excuse for my absence.
During my freshman year, I was kind of radio silent with God. No church (except, I think, Easter), no real prayer, no Bible (though that's always been one of my biggest hurdles). In my first semester, I had a guy in my English 101 class invite me to the BCM. I knew that I wasn't going to go for so many reason, but I said I might go. Then I spent the evening in my dorm with my roommate. I don't remember the summer between freshman and sophomore year very well in order to account for the amount of church activities I was involved in, but I do remember visiting youth once or twice. I was not fond of the new youth pastor.
Sophomore year, things changed. I joined Delta Zeta, changed roommates, and was convinced to go to the BCM. The BCMers (and 3 of my DZ buddies) were my the saviors of my sanity in the dreadful Spring of 2012. And the BCM had an amazing effect on my spiritual life. We had some of the best guest speakers, and the leadership team was a constant source of encouragement. When I knew I was going to Chicago in the fall of 2012, I did the opposite of what I did when my youth pastor stepped down. I threw myself into as many of the BCM activities as I could. I wanted to make the most of my time with them and in that place. I was inspired to make sure that I found a place to grow in Chicago.
Then came college. I'd made myself a promise that I would take a break from church. I didn't want to find a new place while I was at school, and I didn't really want to keep going to church at home. I had become disenchanted with the church I'd grown up in. I was not finding myself in agreement with many things that were coming from the pulpit, so college became the excuse for my absence.
During my freshman year, I was kind of radio silent with God. No church (except, I think, Easter), no real prayer, no Bible (though that's always been one of my biggest hurdles). In my first semester, I had a guy in my English 101 class invite me to the BCM. I knew that I wasn't going to go for so many reason, but I said I might go. Then I spent the evening in my dorm with my roommate. I don't remember the summer between freshman and sophomore year very well in order to account for the amount of church activities I was involved in, but I do remember visiting youth once or twice. I was not fond of the new youth pastor.
Sophomore year, things changed. I joined Delta Zeta, changed roommates, and was convinced to go to the BCM. The BCMers (and 3 of my DZ buddies) were my the saviors of my sanity in the dreadful Spring of 2012. And the BCM had an amazing effect on my spiritual life. We had some of the best guest speakers, and the leadership team was a constant source of encouragement. When I knew I was going to Chicago in the fall of 2012, I did the opposite of what I did when my youth pastor stepped down. I threw myself into as many of the BCM activities as I could. I wanted to make the most of my time with them and in that place. I was inspired to make sure that I found a place to grow in Chicago.
Okay, I'm sorry for the cliffhanger like ending, but I am going to end this part here. Chicago to present is far more complicated, and if I keep going, this post will be novella length. I'll post part 2 soon. It depends on how deep I get into things.
I do want to just say that I'm sorry to Heather, Rachel, and Ashley. Early youth-aged me was stupid and wanted to be liked by people my age, and I treated you three like crap sometimes. I picked B, K, N, and gang when I should have picked you. But I'm very glad to have you now.
Until next time,
<3 Amber Marie
I do want to just say that I'm sorry to Heather, Rachel, and Ashley. Early youth-aged me was stupid and wanted to be liked by people my age, and I treated you three like crap sometimes. I picked B, K, N, and gang when I should have picked you. But I'm very glad to have you now.
Until next time,
<3 Amber Marie
To be perfectly honest, I don't remember well back to the years when you would have been a young youth. I don't know what little Heather was up to, but I don't think she was paying too much attention to anything. I don't remember feeling unloved by early-youth Amber, if that helps. :)
ReplyDeleteIt does make me feel a little better. I wonder if Ashley and Rachel noticed how I treated y'all. I still wish I would have realized which friendships were going to be worth having in the long run. :)
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