Moving On...

From today forward, I'm not looking back. What's done is done, and I can't change it. I am done trying to fix it when it clearly isn't going to happen. I am giving them one final apology, and I'm not asking for forgiveness. I'm asking for them to take the apology and do what they will with it because that's it. Nothing's going to happen if we keep going on like this, so one final apology and as far as I'm concerned, I'm done.

I'm starting over new, and I'm so ready.

Peace,
Amber Marie

I really messed up today...

I may have just lost two of the closest people to me because of stupid stuff. If we had just talked this out a long time ago, it might not have happened like this. And I might not have said something that I really regret because I don't mean it, and it hurt someone I was supposed to be really close to.

I don't know why everything has to go all crazy and out of control all at once. There is so much going on in my head that I can't even think straight right now. I'm not saying that the confrontation shouldn't have happened, just that it shouldn't have happened the way it did and when it did.

I don't know if she'll even read this, and I know that one doesn't have access to this, but I want to apologize again for saying things that I don't mean and for blowing this out of proportion.

I'm sorry to those who actually read this because you will not get more information. I just needed to say this.

-Amber Marie

I think the day after Valentine's Day has some sort of special significance...

But I just can't put my finger on it....

OH WAIT!!!

It's someone's birthday. But who?? I know it's someone important..........

OH YEAH!!!

That's right, it's someone who read this blog...well, that's one of 3 people...

HMMMM....

Okay, okay. I've figured it out!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!
You are amazing. You are funny. You love pink enough so the rest of the world doesn't have to. You love God with all your heart. You are an example to the world. You are an inspiration to those who want to be nearer to God. You somehow know how to deal with a little brother. (Seriously, I'm lucky Ashley is a girl because I don't think I could have handled a little brother.)

Anyway, I say all of this to say that I love you. And I'm so glad you have lived another whole year. :)

<3 Amber Marie

Sorority Soliloquy

I’ve heard it said a sorority
Is a waste of time; but I know better…
For I have seen the love and walked
In the splendor of sisterhood…
I’ve heard it said that a sorority
Is sad; I can’t agree…
I’ve heard it said that a sorority
Is a dull, selfish place; It can’t be true…
I’ve seen the affection, watched it
Fill my heart, the very air…
And I have learned the Creed
Polished and spotless from end to end
And I’ve watched the sorority’s
Devotion drape each and every active
And pledge to look like nature’s
Freshly-granted love nourished for growth…
I’ve heard it said that a sorority is
Harmful, but they are wrong…
For I know my sisters…watched them
Strive to save a cause, spend of themselves…
And I’ve watched them hope, dream,
And aspire, side by side…
I’ve heard them say these things,
But I would disagree…
Because for every shadow I have
Seen a hundred rays of light…
For every plaintive note I’ve
Heard the symphony of joy…
For every penny-weight of bad,
I’ve found a ton of good…
Good in nature, in people, in my sorority…
I’m thankful I belong.

(not mine obviously)

Interesting Lunch Convesation...

So today I went to lunch with my BFF and my big sis. We were talking, having a nice normal lunch conversation, and I mentioned that Ash was flying home from Chicago today. And my big asks if Ash is really going to college in Chicago in the fall. I said if not there, then in Indiana, most likely. Then she says she's concerned that Ash won't be able to live away from our family and/or my parents would constantly be worried because that's the family dynamic we have. And I completely agree that our family is too close knit to live that far away from each other. That's part of why I've been thinking of a transfer...(see where this is going??) Anyway, so then I mention that the idea of moving back to Indiana has been discussed a little in my house (not necessarily including me). And then my big says that she doesn't see me staying here if my family leaves. And I'm kinda just sitting there like, "What the heck just happened here??" and "This is so not the conversation that I wanted to have today, at lunch!" Anyway, my BFF knows about my possible transfer, and she was kinda sitting there like, "Where is this going?" I decided that today, at lunch, was not the best time to mention me possibly leaving, but I said that IF my family leaves, I'll have to look into my options. I know it's not the hugest of deals, but she kinda just caught me off guard. I thought that it would be hard to tell her that I was leaving, but she seems to understand that my family is really close, due to the fact that we've lived so far from extended family for so long. So maybe, when I make my decision, it won't be so hard to tell her.

Yeah, that's all I have for today. :) I figured since you got 3 posts in one day, I'd space the next one out a little. :)

<3
Amber Marie

p.s. Yes, my sister went to Chicago. Yes, I am very jealous. And she told me today that when (when not IF) we live in Chicago, we have to go to this restaurant (she'll probably comment the name, I just can't remember) the night we move in.

So yeah, there's that to look forward to. :)

Bye. :D

Ahhhh, the Chicago Decision, we meet again! (Post 3 of 3)

I know, I know. I already posted twice today! What can I say, I love you! I have a lot to say today! And there was no way I could smash them all in to one post. They were way to unrelated.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I actually applied to another college in Chicago that is literally right down the street from Columbia. It's Roosevelt University. I applied for psychology. Gasp. That's my current major! Well, I figured that if I decide that psych is right for me, why shouldn't I still go to Chicago? Major "duh" moment. I don't know why I didn't think of it before! This is not to say that Columbia is out of the picture because that is no where near true. This is a "just in case I figure out that psych is for me, I can still go to Chicago if I want" option.

I have not really gotten any closer to making a decision, I just wanted to let you know that I threw something else into the loop. I think that this is a good idea in case I figure out that I'm more obsessed with the idea of Chicago than I am passionate about the film major, since I'm still kind of in la la dream land about the whole Chicago move.

As always, feel free to throw advice my way. I'll read it. I may not take it, but I'll read it. :)

Anyway, peace out!

I have 7:30 class in the morning. Time for bed.

Night,
Amber Marie

P.S. Yup, I'm finally done. :)

Service Learning Project. (Post 2 of 3)

As a part of one of my classes this semester, I have a service learning project I have to do. This project consists of the class helping with an after-school program in a not-so-great neighborhood; it's literally the projects. The kids from the neighborhood come to the facility and they get help with their homework and then break off in to age groups for activities. Today was my first day helping with the program. (Three of my sorority sisters are in my class, and they come on Wednesdays too. My grand-big sis works the same shift as me from 3-5 pm. The other two work the 4-6 pm shift.)

Anyway, I worked with two kids today; a girl about six years old and a boy about seven years old. The girl finished her homework in about 15 minutes with basically no help from me. She knew what she needed to do so she could go play.

The boy was the most entertaining child I've worked with in a long time. He sat with me from 3:30 until I left at 5. His favorite color is pink. His favorite Disney princess is Aurora/Sleeping Beauty. He had to color three pictures that started with the letter "r" for his homework: a rainbow, a ring, and a rabbit. His rainbow was all shades of red and pink. His ring was purple and gold for LSU, as per my grand-big's suggestion. And his rabbit, well his rabbit was green, and I mean crayon green. He had another paper of pictures to color, cut, and glue to another piece of paper. It took him 45 minutes because he decided that my handout from the program was more fun to color. He also colored one of my sister's fingernails. Once he was finished with his homework, we put together two puzzles; one was Disney princesses and the other was superheroes. We never finished the princesses because it was difficult, and I'm pretty sure we were missing a piece or two. The superhero one, on the other hand, was done in ten minutes. I left thinking if I could work with this little boy every week during this project, I would have no complaints.

I love this program already. I know it was only the first day. I know so much can happen in the coming weeks, but the look on that little boy's face when my grand-big and I had to leave made me never want to leave.

So be ready for more posts about this project because if it continues to go like today went, there will be many more stories to come. :)

Amber Marie

P.S. If you didn't get the memo, there will be one more post tonight! Stay tuned! :)

"Sorority Girls" (Post 1 of 3)

So, today in biology, instead of  learning about fungi (which is apparently pronounced fun-ji with a long i and not fun-guy), I was learning about a show on TLC called Sorority Girls. So get ready for a rant about how it misrepresents us initiated sorority women on US college campuses.

Okay. This show is about five American sorority women going to the UK and starting an all new sorority in Leeds. (The five girls were/are part of NPC sororities here in the US.) Anyway, so these girls treat sorority recruitment (They call it "rush.") like a game show, rather than an opportunity to make their sisterhood a better and stronger group of women. They haze their pledges, who should be called "potential new members," and that's not just not acceptable in any Greek organization in the States. They will eventually air their ritual initiation ceremony, which also would never happen with a Greek organization because that is a secret ceremony meant only for the initiated members of the particular organization.

This show feeds every stereotype of a Greek organization that Greek organizations try to fight against constantly. Most chapters of most Greek organizations are about brother/sisterhood, scholarship, networking, service, and bettering yourself. (I say most because there are some who don't care and have caused the Greek world to have a bad reputation.) I am disappointed with this show. I am disgusted by this show. And frankly, I think it should be pulled off the air. If they want to air it, it should be forced to say that it's another piece of scripted reality tv junk that should not be taken literally. (I know I watch reality tv, but I understand that there is very little that is real about reality tv.) If people know that Greek life wasn't like this show, I don't think that it would be as big of a problem necessarily, but the general population thinks that this show is real Greek life, and that is a problem.

Now, I know some of you were not impressed when I told you that I decided to go through sorority recruitment and that I pledged Delta Zeta. And I'm sorry if you don't particularly care about this post. I'm giving you permission to completely ignore it, although if you've made it this far, then you're pretty much done. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! **COUGH, COUGH** (You also know I love you, in a sisterly-friend way.)

Alright, I'm done.

Amber Marie

P.S. This is post 1 of 3 tonight. So I hope you love me because you're about to hear even more from me! :D