So I've decided that my last post for 2012 is going to be a retrospective post that will end with details of the last few weeks. I guess it will be best to go month-by-month. :)
January
- Uncle Dave died 1/2/12 and we went to Tennessee for his funeral. It was hard on all of us because it was unexpected, but he's not suffering anymore. (The year didn't start off that great...)
- started what would end up being my last semester at Nicholls State, and minus the roommate issues, it was a pretty decent semester
- became a guard in ΔΖ :)
- applied to Columbia College for film
February
- applied to Roosevelt University for psychology
- Ashley went to Chicago and came back with pictures. When I saw said pictures, my mind was made up. I was going to Chicago. The only question, then, was what school and major...
- Valentine's Day was spent with a friend who had been dumped the night before.
- Also on Valentine's Day, I choked on a test for the first time in my collegiate career, which resulted in my dropping the class.
- Aside from the 15th being a certain person's birthday, it is also the day that I lost my best friend and my Big Sis in ΔΖ. We were roommates and we fought, which eventually lead to us not really ever speaking again.
- 2nd SKFCR live stream and added them on Facebook (SKFCR = StarKid Fans Charity Rockout. Starkid is a musical theatre troupe who met in college at UMich)
March
- My Big spoke to me for the last time (until her birthday, but I'll get to that). That conversation resulted in her removing all of the toilet paper from our shared bathroom because she bought it, and since we weren't friends anymore, I couldn't use it.
- ΔΖ Region Weekend at LSU. Spent a weekend with sisters from all over LA, MS, AR, and OK. Participated as a guard in an Initiation (well, I took the handshake...).
- Officially found out that I was accepted to both Columbia College for film and Roosevelt University for psychology.
April
- Officially decided that I was going to Roosevelt in August. :)
- had to figure out a way to break ^that news to my friends and sisters...
May
- finished my sophomore year of college...halfway to a bachelor's degree
- ΔΖ Seniors and Transfers ceremony (might have been last week in April, but whatever...close enough)
- 3.75 gpa for the semester, I believe, making a 3.61 cumulative
- Ashley and I met Starkid members in Downtown New Orleans 5/14
- Ashley graduated from NOCCA 5/14
June
- MY BABY SISTER'S 18th BIRTHDAY
- Ashley and Rachel (and a few others) graduated high school!!!
- talked to Anna (from SKFCR) on Facebook and congratulated her on getting into school in Chicago. From that we began talking about possibly getting an apartment together
- did nothing but work and sit around on Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social media
- oh and apartment hunted online, which is not easy...
July
- more working and sitting around on social media...
- worked my last shift at Lane Bryant in LA
- trip to Chicago for orientation!
- signed a lease so I had a place to live in Chicago!
August
- 2nd trip to Chicago in two weeks, but for good for me this time
- officially moved in in Chicago 8/10
- Charlene Kaye concert at Beat Kitchen 8/12
- met an Aussie named Rob and two Canadians, Chantal and Jocelyn
- met Starkids on the streets of Chicago (gotta love Halstead)
- started work at Lane Bryant in Chicago 8/17
- started my first semester at Roosevelt 8/24
- met Justine, Reva, and Erica (they become pretty important)
- also met Alison somewhere in there...
September
- Hurricane Isaac threatened my family
- I missed my sisters during sorority recruitment 2012 at Nicholls
- MY 20th BIRTHDAY
- went to 2 comedy shows, was out until after midnight, and met and chatted with 2 Starkids
- JUSTINE'S 21st BIRTHDAY
October
- Roosevelt's love of group projects really began to annoy me.
- I briefly thought about taken a class that included a trip to Sweden and Finland with Justine and Reva (none of us are taking it now)...
- Nina (my aunt Tina) came to see me in Chicago for a weekend
November
- RACHEL'S 18th BIRTHDAY
- Messaged my Big on Facebook, for the first time since we stopped talking, to wish her a happy birthday. Much to my surprise, she messaged me back and said, and I quote, "thanks. that means alot."
- spent my first Thanksgiving away from family, but luckily Reva let me borrow her family. :)
December
- finished my first semester at Roosevelt with 3 As and 2 A-s for a 3.86 gpa for the semester
- one of my best friends, Erica, graduated. -sniffle- I'm so proud!!
- I flew back to NOLA for the first time in nearly 5 months.
- arrived on Christmas Day after being delayed at O'Hare for an hour and a half because my plane had mechanical issues that were eventually resolved. The airport staff weren't very pleasant or helpful. We flew through the tornado warned storms, specifically the one that spawned the water spout over Lake Pontchartrain.
- 12/26 spent over 6 hours at the movie theater; saw The Hobbit and Les Miserables with Heather
- 12/27 Happy 23rd Anniversary to my parents; spent the day in Houma with my best friends Jacie and Emily
- 12/28 visited my old store manager at Lane Bryant, hung out with my family and played games all day
- 12/29 went downtown to the French Market and did a little late Christmas shopping
- 12/30 hung around at home and started packing; found out my work schedule and decided to skip my plane and stay a few more days
And here we are to today, as I am sitting with my dad and sister watching BBC's Sherlock. :) I hope that the last few hours of 2012 are pleasant and good to you, and I look forward to another year of blogging in 2013.
<3 Amber Marie
Monday, December 31, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!
I am back in New Orleans after some minor difficulties that I will explain in detail in another post. I just wanted to say Merry Christmas (from my new iPad mini) and I am so happy to be home!
<3 Amber Marie
<3 Amber Marie
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
It's December! Crazy, right?
Multiple meanings for this title.
First, it's like 60-something degrees out. This not how I imagined Chicago in December. I'm not even wearing a jacket! Lol. What is this craziness!?
Second, this semester is almost over! I have two class days left with three classes total. Then next week is finals. And then I will be done with my first semester at Roosevelt. And, as of right now, I have five "A"s out of five classes. That is craziness! Lol.
And finally, I have been in Chicago for almost four whole months now. That means I haven't seen anyone from Louisiana in person in at least four months, and it's been longer for some. I cannot believe how fast these four months have flown by! That is crazy!
Anyway, I am still alive and making it through everything! :)
Until next time,
Amber Marie <3
First, it's like 60-something degrees out. This not how I imagined Chicago in December. I'm not even wearing a jacket! Lol. What is this craziness!?
Second, this semester is almost over! I have two class days left with three classes total. Then next week is finals. And then I will be done with my first semester at Roosevelt. And, as of right now, I have five "A"s out of five classes. That is craziness! Lol.
And finally, I have been in Chicago for almost four whole months now. That means I haven't seen anyone from Louisiana in person in at least four months, and it's been longer for some. I cannot believe how fast these four months have flown by! That is crazy!
Anyway, I am still alive and making it through everything! :)
Until next time,
Amber Marie <3
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Thanksgiving Break
So, this is the fifth day of my Thanksgiving break. I've only have to work two of four days and I work tonight. And one of those days I was only at work for an hour and a half because it was our holiday meeting. So that's basically 3 days of nothing to do. What, might you ask, did I do withy hose days? Well, that's what I'm here to tell you about. :)
So, Friday was my first day off. Friday I met with my friend, Reva, who is in my research methods group (blech group projects!) and we went to lunch at Epic Burger. We needed to work on the statistics portion of our research project. (Once we finish the project, I'll post about what we did and what we found.) We were meeting with one of the other three girls in our group. Well, we got bored and did like half of it before Casey got there. Oops. We did a lot of work on it, so when Casey got there we kind of just updated her on what we did and then we went our separate ways. Reva and I hung out for a little longer. We also helped our friend, Erica, pack her stuff to go home for Thanksgiving break. (She lives in the burbs.) Not too long after Erica left, I went home.
Saturday! :) Actually, Saturday was kind of boring. I went slept in and then went to work. Yeah, pretty dull.
Now Sunday was fun. :) On Sunday, I had to go to work for our holiday meeting. As I said before, I was only there for about an hour and a half. I did have to walk a mile to get there though. The stupid bus tracker told me it was going to be 30 minutes before the next bus came. It lied. But anyway, after work I went to hang out with Reva. We went to lunch at Portillo's, and tried to decide what we were going to do with our Sunday. Originally, we were going to go to Michael's and get Christmas decorations. Then Reva asked if I wanted to go to Schaumburg to go to the mall. (We realized later that we live in Chicago where everyone from the burbs goes to shop and we did the opposite by going to the burbs from Chicago to shop.) Anyways, we decided to just go for it. We knew that this adventure would involve public transport beyond the realms of the CTA, but we were prepared. :) We also realized that Erica didn't live too far from Schaumburg. We texted her and she agreed to meet us at the mall. Now we just had to get there.
So we knew we had to take the blue line almost all the way to the end. It runs to O'Hare, and we literally got off one stop before the airport. From the blue line, we had to take a Pace bus. Pace buses run from Chicago to the burbs for commuters. They don't take CTA UPasses, so we made sure we had exact change for fare both to and from the mall. We knew that there was a Pace bus leaving at 1:30. We knew we would be cutting it close, but we thought we would make it. We didn't. Then next bus didn't leave until 2:30. We missed the 1:30 by about 7 minutes. So we hung out with all the other people waiting for Pace buses for about 40 minutes. Then we decided to go outside in case the bus got there early. We wanted decent seats. (Yes, there are bad seats on a bus.) Well apparently the bus had been out there for a few minutes before we went out there because there were already people on the bus. We got okay seats. The Pace bus was just like a CTA bus. Anyway, unlike CTA buses, it didn't tell us what each stop was. So we had to really pay attention to where we wanted to get off. We made it to the mall and got dropped off on a random corner in the parking lot that wasn't the actual stop. It was strange. But we made it alive.
The mall. That mall is crazy. It has 2 main levels, but there were also in between levels and there were so many store that it was overwhelming. And the one store that all three of us wanted to go to had moved out of the mall, but we didn't know that until Reva and I got back to Chicago at like 7. Anyway, we walked around the giant mall for almost 2 hours. Then we went to Red Robin for dinner. (Red Robin! YUM! No really!) Then, since the Pace bus had dropped us off on a corner and not a stop, Reva and I didn't know where to catch the Pace bus to get back to the blue line. So Erica, being the awesome friend that she is, drove us to the blue line. Reva and I got back to Chicago and she slept over at my place.
Monday! Reva hung out for a bit. We went to the grocery store. I made her some breakfast. Then after she left, I did laundry. I also baked cookies last night.
Today! I am meeting Reva so I can drop off my stuff off at her apartment. We're heading to lunch. Then I'm going to work. Sleeping at Reva's tonight and then in the morning, we are heading to Indiana to her house for Thanksgiving!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving! I'll be away from my computer until late Friday night. But I have my iPhone, so if you know me and need me, text or call!
Until next time, Amber Marie
So, Friday was my first day off. Friday I met with my friend, Reva, who is in my research methods group (blech group projects!) and we went to lunch at Epic Burger. We needed to work on the statistics portion of our research project. (Once we finish the project, I'll post about what we did and what we found.) We were meeting with one of the other three girls in our group. Well, we got bored and did like half of it before Casey got there. Oops. We did a lot of work on it, so when Casey got there we kind of just updated her on what we did and then we went our separate ways. Reva and I hung out for a little longer. We also helped our friend, Erica, pack her stuff to go home for Thanksgiving break. (She lives in the burbs.) Not too long after Erica left, I went home.
Saturday! :) Actually, Saturday was kind of boring. I went slept in and then went to work. Yeah, pretty dull.
Now Sunday was fun. :) On Sunday, I had to go to work for our holiday meeting. As I said before, I was only there for about an hour and a half. I did have to walk a mile to get there though. The stupid bus tracker told me it was going to be 30 minutes before the next bus came. It lied. But anyway, after work I went to hang out with Reva. We went to lunch at Portillo's, and tried to decide what we were going to do with our Sunday. Originally, we were going to go to Michael's and get Christmas decorations. Then Reva asked if I wanted to go to Schaumburg to go to the mall. (We realized later that we live in Chicago where everyone from the burbs goes to shop and we did the opposite by going to the burbs from Chicago to shop.) Anyways, we decided to just go for it. We knew that this adventure would involve public transport beyond the realms of the CTA, but we were prepared. :) We also realized that Erica didn't live too far from Schaumburg. We texted her and she agreed to meet us at the mall. Now we just had to get there.
So we knew we had to take the blue line almost all the way to the end. It runs to O'Hare, and we literally got off one stop before the airport. From the blue line, we had to take a Pace bus. Pace buses run from Chicago to the burbs for commuters. They don't take CTA UPasses, so we made sure we had exact change for fare both to and from the mall. We knew that there was a Pace bus leaving at 1:30. We knew we would be cutting it close, but we thought we would make it. We didn't. Then next bus didn't leave until 2:30. We missed the 1:30 by about 7 minutes. So we hung out with all the other people waiting for Pace buses for about 40 minutes. Then we decided to go outside in case the bus got there early. We wanted decent seats. (Yes, there are bad seats on a bus.) Well apparently the bus had been out there for a few minutes before we went out there because there were already people on the bus. We got okay seats. The Pace bus was just like a CTA bus. Anyway, unlike CTA buses, it didn't tell us what each stop was. So we had to really pay attention to where we wanted to get off. We made it to the mall and got dropped off on a random corner in the parking lot that wasn't the actual stop. It was strange. But we made it alive.
The mall. That mall is crazy. It has 2 main levels, but there were also in between levels and there were so many store that it was overwhelming. And the one store that all three of us wanted to go to had moved out of the mall, but we didn't know that until Reva and I got back to Chicago at like 7. Anyway, we walked around the giant mall for almost 2 hours. Then we went to Red Robin for dinner. (Red Robin! YUM! No really!) Then, since the Pace bus had dropped us off on a corner and not a stop, Reva and I didn't know where to catch the Pace bus to get back to the blue line. So Erica, being the awesome friend that she is, drove us to the blue line. Reva and I got back to Chicago and she slept over at my place.
Monday! Reva hung out for a bit. We went to the grocery store. I made her some breakfast. Then after she left, I did laundry. I also baked cookies last night.
Today! I am meeting Reva so I can drop off my stuff off at her apartment. We're heading to lunch. Then I'm going to work. Sleeping at Reva's tonight and then in the morning, we are heading to Indiana to her house for Thanksgiving!
Have a Happy Thanksgiving! I'll be away from my computer until late Friday night. But I have my iPhone, so if you know me and need me, text or call!
Until next time, Amber Marie
Sunday, November 11, 2012
I did not forget!
Along with today being Veteran's Day {Thanks to all of the troops, military personnel, and their families}, today is someone's birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RACHEL!! You are now officially an adult, and I now feel old because I used to babysit you...
Anyway, back to the subject...I hope you had a legen...wait for it...dary, awesome, fantastic, fabulous, beast-y(?), amazing, stupendous, cool, not lame, great, splendid, tremendous, remarkable, and every other positive adjective you can think of day. :)
-Amber Marie
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RACHEL!! You are now officially an adult, and I now feel old because I used to babysit you...
Anyway, back to the subject...I hope you had a legen...wait for it...dary, awesome, fantastic, fabulous, beast-y(?), amazing, stupendous, cool, not lame, great, splendid, tremendous, remarkable, and every other positive adjective you can think of day. :)
-Amber Marie
Monday, November 5, 2012
Oh, no! I missed a week!
You would not believe the amount of work I am not doing in order to type this post. I do not understand why all of the professors/instructors put all of the hard work at the end of the semester! Papers, presentations, group projects. It is ridiculous! I have no time to waste, or I should not waste it--oops...
I just wanted to let you all know that I am still alive--barely--and I will be back as soon as I can...
Oh, and happy November! How is it November!? My puppy is turning six, my laptop is now two-years-old, and it has been a year since I started thinking about coming to Chicago...(the post was up about a month after I started thinking about it).
I will be home in NOLA for Christmas, and I cannot wait. :)
Oh and it has gotten really cold up here. It is 39 degrees outside and feels like 35. But I am loving it! :)
Until I can write again,
Amber Marie <3
I just wanted to let you all know that I am still alive--barely--and I will be back as soon as I can...
Oh, and happy November! How is it November!? My puppy is turning six, my laptop is now two-years-old, and it has been a year since I started thinking about coming to Chicago...(the post was up about a month after I started thinking about it).
I will be home in NOLA for Christmas, and I cannot wait. :)
Oh and it has gotten really cold up here. It is 39 degrees outside and feels like 35. But I am loving it! :)
Until I can write again,
Amber Marie <3
Monday, October 22, 2012
Europe: Sweden and Finland, Oh My
Soooo, it's been a while... :)
I apologize! Busy being a college student. :)
So, as you can see from the title, this post is about Europe. (If you got the Wizard of Oz reference...kudos...it's not direct...kind of poorly executed...sorry...lol.)
Why Europe, you ask? Well, I might be taking a class next semester that involves a two-week trip to Sweden and Finland at the end of the semester. :) Sounds sweet, right!?
Only catch, it's $3000 on top of tuition.
But, I am not counting it out because, HELLO, where am I writing from right now? Oh yeah, CHICAGO! And at this point last year, I didn't even know that I was going to even be thinking about leaving Louisiana. Heck, I more worried about finding out who my big sis in Delta Zeta was, and I didn't even know that transferring and leaving the state was on the table.
So, this post is a request for prayer for funds if it's what I'm supposed to do, and for it to be blocked if it's not for me.
This is also a post to document the fact that I'm looking at the possibility of leaving the country for the first time in my 20 years of life. :)
Until next time,
Amber Marie <3
I apologize! Busy being a college student. :)
So, as you can see from the title, this post is about Europe. (If you got the Wizard of Oz reference...kudos...it's not direct...kind of poorly executed...sorry...lol.)
Why Europe, you ask? Well, I might be taking a class next semester that involves a two-week trip to Sweden and Finland at the end of the semester. :) Sounds sweet, right!?
Only catch, it's $3000 on top of tuition.
But, I am not counting it out because, HELLO, where am I writing from right now? Oh yeah, CHICAGO! And at this point last year, I didn't even know that I was going to even be thinking about leaving Louisiana. Heck, I more worried about finding out who my big sis in Delta Zeta was, and I didn't even know that transferring and leaving the state was on the table.
So, this post is a request for prayer for funds if it's what I'm supposed to do, and for it to be blocked if it's not for me.
This is also a post to document the fact that I'm looking at the possibility of leaving the country for the first time in my 20 years of life. :)
Until next time,
Amber Marie <3
Monday, October 15, 2012
Guess WHAT!?
I have a second group project!! This is going to be fun...NOT!
In other news, I got an A on my psych and law midterm. :)
I had another midterm today, and I turned in a three page paper...
I have a brief break tonight. :)
My aunt is coming to visit this weekend!
I'm also getting a haircut this weekend!
I'm currently catching up on Project Runway...
Okay, this has been a post.
<3 Amber Marie
In other news, I got an A on my psych and law midterm. :)
I had another midterm today, and I turned in a three page paper...
I have a brief break tonight. :)
My aunt is coming to visit this weekend!
I'm also getting a haircut this weekend!
I'm currently catching up on Project Runway...
Okay, this has been a post.
<3 Amber Marie
Monday, October 1, 2012
Why Group Projects Suck!
So it seems that Roosevelt University is a bit obsessed with group projects. One project that I have to do is in my research methods class. Now, I will say that I am really good friends with two of the four people in this group, and it's awesome. But it can be hard if you have some critiques that need to be addressed. So here is a list of reasons why group projects suck:
Until next time,
<3 Amber Marie
- Trying to get five people together to meet at one time is IMPOSSIBLE! We have not had a single meeting with all five members at once unless we were already in class.
- People take critiques personally rather than look at the benefits to the paper.
- When four different people try to work on the same paper, it can get kind of hectic.
- Some people don't do any work at all and let the other four do all of the work and still get the same grade as the others.
- Some people do a lot less work than, lets say three of the five, and still get the same grade.
- Emailing papers in the late hours of the night and early hours of the morning can get crazy because you forget to actually attach the paper and have to send another email with the attachment with a stupid little note that says you aren't paying attention to what you are doing.
- I know there are a million other reasons that I just can't think of right now!
Until next time,
<3 Amber Marie
Monday, September 24, 2012
Oh the Irony!
So, I complained in my last entry that some people hadn't been updating recently. Weeelllllll...I realize that I haven't updated since then. Oopsy!
Well, it's mainly because I have a test at 8 in the morning, and until an hour ago, I was FIVE chapters behind because I couldn't get the book because Isaac decided to visit New Orleans, and screwed some things up...anyway, I just finished typing 22 pages of notes, and this is my mini break.
Extremely busy here and I had a sort of mental break down over the weekend because of everything I had to do, but I bought a chocolate cake mix, and even though I haven't baked it, it made me feel better. :D
I'll have a longer post soon, I hope. But for now, I need to get back to studying.
Until the next post!
<3 Amber Marie
Well, it's mainly because I have a test at 8 in the morning, and until an hour ago, I was FIVE chapters behind because I couldn't get the book because Isaac decided to visit New Orleans, and screwed some things up...anyway, I just finished typing 22 pages of notes, and this is my mini break.
Extremely busy here and I had a sort of mental break down over the weekend because of everything I had to do, but I bought a chocolate cake mix, and even though I haven't baked it, it made me feel better. :D
I'll have a longer post soon, I hope. But for now, I need to get back to studying.
Until the next post!
<3 Amber Marie
Monday, September 17, 2012
Where is everyone???
So my instructor in my second class today made a very interesting point. He said that no one blogs anymore, and when I heard that, I immediately disagreed. There are 4 of us on here that still blog--3 pretty regularly, 1 note so much...*coughs* Ash! But then I realized that the last update from any one of the three regulars was 6 days ago. WHERE ARE YOU GUYS AT!? I miss you! How am I supposed to keep up with your lives from 950 miles away if you don't update??
Anyway, I say that to say, I do miss you when you aren't updating about your lives. Some of us rare bloggers do care about what you have to say!! :)
<3 Amber Marie
p.s. I look forward to reading your posts SOON okay? Got that? SOON!! ;)
Anyway, I say that to say, I do miss you when you aren't updating about your lives. Some of us rare bloggers do care about what you have to say!! :)
<3 Amber Marie
p.s. I look forward to reading your posts SOON okay? Got that? SOON!! ;)
Thursday, September 6, 2012
*sniffles*
WARNING: This is basically just a rambling post about missing my best friends right now. You can just ignore it if you want. I promise my feelings won't be hurt.
So sorority recruitment started at my old school last night, and tonight is the first night that the actives get to meet the PNMs (potential new members, if you don't remember my post from a year ago). And my best friends are texting me and sending me pictures. And I miss them so much right now! I know that I'm supposed to be here in Chicago, but I really wish I was with my best friends right now getting ready to meet girls who want to be our sisters. I really didn't think that I would be this bummed about not being there right now. I thought that I was lucky because there's SOOOOOO much involved with recruitment and it's a little on the expensive side, but I think it would have been worth it to be with my closest friends right now...
I guess that's all...
-Amber Marie
So sorority recruitment started at my old school last night, and tonight is the first night that the actives get to meet the PNMs (potential new members, if you don't remember my post from a year ago). And my best friends are texting me and sending me pictures. And I miss them so much right now! I know that I'm supposed to be here in Chicago, but I really wish I was with my best friends right now getting ready to meet girls who want to be our sisters. I really didn't think that I would be this bummed about not being there right now. I thought that I was lucky because there's SOOOOOO much involved with recruitment and it's a little on the expensive side, but I think it would have been worth it to be with my closest friends right now...
I guess that's all...
-Amber Marie
Monday, September 3, 2012
A Different Kind of Church
(I started this days ago, and I got really busy. I didn't go back on Sunday because I had to work, but as long as I don't have to work on Thursday, I will be going back. Also, I'm not saying the name of the church because I don't want to just yet; just in case it doesn't work out. Anyways...)
So, I just realized that I never updated about the church hunt, so here it is.
Last Saturday night, my roommate and I spent about an hour and a half Googling churches in the Chicago area, and let me tell you, the are way too many of them. I really didn't think we were going to be able to find one before Sunday morning, but we did.
Now, as I mentioned before, my roommate, Anna, went to a Methodist church for a while, and her last church was actually a house church with about fifteen members. For those of you that know me, you know that that is completely different than what I'm used to. My old church is on the larger end of the spectrum and it is a non-denominational evangelical church and the BCM was, well, Baptist based. Now, I'm not going to go into detail about how Methodism and Evangelicalism are different other than, Methodism is similar to Catholicism and Evangelicalism is not like Catholicism. (Use Wikipedia, that's what I did. lol) Anyway, so I was a little concerned that we wouldn't like the same church, and while I know that we don't have to go to the same church, it makes things a lot easier if you go into something new with someone else.
So we found a church that looked promising, and we were really enthused because it had one thing we were really looking for. We really wanted was a college/university ministry, so we could get to know other people our age in the church we went to. So Sunday morning we took the bus to church.
Now this church is considered a megachurch. It's average congregation on a Sunday morning is between 4,000-6,000 people. It's about 4 times bigger than my old church. (But it's also not the largest church I've ever been to either. In the summer of 2005 when I spent the summer in Florida with my aunt, I went to a church that had a weekly average attendance of 15,000 people per Sunday.) But one thing that separates it from other megachurches is the sanctuary. It actually looks like a cathedral on the inside with stained glass and everything. It is truly beautiful. It's kind of weird to see the contemporary band in that sanctuary. Anyway, I've gotten off topic.
So we were late by like five minutes because Google Maps told us that the bus would be the fastest and the easiest, but it wasn't. When we walked in we were given a program. Now, I'm not talking about a list of announcements and other service times. It was a program, complete with what songs would be sung and what scriptures would be read and in what order they would be sung and read. Also, it began promptly at 9:50 and had to end by 11:30 because they have Sunday school classes, which they call communities, that start at 11:30. I am definitely not used to that kind of structure or that short of a service, and the three of you that know me know exactly what I mean ;) . It just doesn't seem like there is any room for deviation from the schedule, and I still don't know how I feel about that.
After the service, I had to run off to work, so I couldn't really explore. I had to wait until Thursday when I would get to see what the college group was like.
So Thursday night Anna and I made our way to the college service. This time we took the train, which was soooooooo much better! Anyway, we were kind of prepared to be asked our names, where we went to school, where we were from, etc. But we weren't prepared for how loud it was going to be when we were trying to answer all of the questions. The band was still practicing, and to be honest, there were a lot of people there. I was kind of nervous, but also very excited about how many people were there. I think it was close to 50. Of course it was the first week they were meeting since summer ended (They work on a semester basis from what I gather.), so there were obviously going to be more people than normal.
Anyway, so the night went like this:
First thing we did was eat. They have dinner together every Thursday before the service. (It was bacon mac & cheese that night, and it was amazing cheesy, bacony goodness! Oh and there was a salad with strawberries in it. Just wanted to make sure you knew it was a balanced meal! lol) Then it transitions into a worship service, and then the college pastor started the message. This semester is going to be a walk through the book of Galatians and after Thursday night, I am definitely looking forward to next week. {Let me just say that the pastor is AMAZING! He is funny. He really knows what he's talking about. He was asking questions, and he could feed off of any answer one of us gave him. He kind of reminded me of Bro. Jonathan from when I was in the youth group at my old church.} Anyway, after the message we broke up into small groups. Now Anna and I didn't end up in the same group, and that kind of made me nervous. But the group that I was in turned out to be great. There were only four of us, but we got along great. And after the small groups, it's kind of like you're free to go, but they do go out for coffee or whatever sometimes.
So yeah, I still don't know how I feel about the main worship service on Sundays, but I am loving the college service. They also have a service on Sundays at 11:30, so whenever I don't have to work I will definitely go.
Comments, questions, insight? Please feel free to comment. I am sort of looking for an outsiders perspective.
Until next time,
<3 Amber Marie
So, I just realized that I never updated about the church hunt, so here it is.
Last Saturday night, my roommate and I spent about an hour and a half Googling churches in the Chicago area, and let me tell you, the are way too many of them. I really didn't think we were going to be able to find one before Sunday morning, but we did.
Now, as I mentioned before, my roommate, Anna, went to a Methodist church for a while, and her last church was actually a house church with about fifteen members. For those of you that know me, you know that that is completely different than what I'm used to. My old church is on the larger end of the spectrum and it is a non-denominational evangelical church and the BCM was, well, Baptist based. Now, I'm not going to go into detail about how Methodism and Evangelicalism are different other than, Methodism is similar to Catholicism and Evangelicalism is not like Catholicism. (Use Wikipedia, that's what I did. lol) Anyway, so I was a little concerned that we wouldn't like the same church, and while I know that we don't have to go to the same church, it makes things a lot easier if you go into something new with someone else.
So we found a church that looked promising, and we were really enthused because it had one thing we were really looking for. We really wanted was a college/university ministry, so we could get to know other people our age in the church we went to. So Sunday morning we took the bus to church.
Now this church is considered a megachurch. It's average congregation on a Sunday morning is between 4,000-6,000 people. It's about 4 times bigger than my old church. (But it's also not the largest church I've ever been to either. In the summer of 2005 when I spent the summer in Florida with my aunt, I went to a church that had a weekly average attendance of 15,000 people per Sunday.) But one thing that separates it from other megachurches is the sanctuary. It actually looks like a cathedral on the inside with stained glass and everything. It is truly beautiful. It's kind of weird to see the contemporary band in that sanctuary. Anyway, I've gotten off topic.
So we were late by like five minutes because Google Maps told us that the bus would be the fastest and the easiest, but it wasn't. When we walked in we were given a program. Now, I'm not talking about a list of announcements and other service times. It was a program, complete with what songs would be sung and what scriptures would be read and in what order they would be sung and read. Also, it began promptly at 9:50 and had to end by 11:30 because they have Sunday school classes, which they call communities, that start at 11:30. I am definitely not used to that kind of structure or that short of a service, and the three of you that know me know exactly what I mean ;) . It just doesn't seem like there is any room for deviation from the schedule, and I still don't know how I feel about that.
After the service, I had to run off to work, so I couldn't really explore. I had to wait until Thursday when I would get to see what the college group was like.
So Thursday night Anna and I made our way to the college service. This time we took the train, which was soooooooo much better! Anyway, we were kind of prepared to be asked our names, where we went to school, where we were from, etc. But we weren't prepared for how loud it was going to be when we were trying to answer all of the questions. The band was still practicing, and to be honest, there were a lot of people there. I was kind of nervous, but also very excited about how many people were there. I think it was close to 50. Of course it was the first week they were meeting since summer ended (They work on a semester basis from what I gather.), so there were obviously going to be more people than normal.
Anyway, so the night went like this:
First thing we did was eat. They have dinner together every Thursday before the service. (It was bacon mac & cheese that night, and it was amazing cheesy, bacony goodness! Oh and there was a salad with strawberries in it. Just wanted to make sure you knew it was a balanced meal! lol) Then it transitions into a worship service, and then the college pastor started the message. This semester is going to be a walk through the book of Galatians and after Thursday night, I am definitely looking forward to next week. {Let me just say that the pastor is AMAZING! He is funny. He really knows what he's talking about. He was asking questions, and he could feed off of any answer one of us gave him. He kind of reminded me of Bro. Jonathan from when I was in the youth group at my old church.} Anyway, after the message we broke up into small groups. Now Anna and I didn't end up in the same group, and that kind of made me nervous. But the group that I was in turned out to be great. There were only four of us, but we got along great. And after the small groups, it's kind of like you're free to go, but they do go out for coffee or whatever sometimes.
So yeah, I still don't know how I feel about the main worship service on Sundays, but I am loving the college service. They also have a service on Sundays at 11:30, so whenever I don't have to work I will definitely go.
Comments, questions, insight? Please feel free to comment. I am sort of looking for an outsiders perspective.
Until next time,
<3 Amber Marie
Saturday, September 1, 2012
The Week the Storm Came...
So, if you live in the US then you probably heard that Hurricane Isaac visited my friends and family in New Orleans this week. For two days communication was hit and miss between my family and me, and it was hard. It was hard, not only because I'm 950 miles away and completely safe, but also because it was my first full week at Roosevelt, and I found it extremely hard to concentrate in class when I was constantly checking my phone for any sort of update at all.
Just so you know, my family is safe. After almost three days without power, they got it back at around 7 pm. The house is fine. So compared to a lot of others, we were lucky.
I'm seriously glad that Isaac has moved on and plot twist: he's headed to visit me now. Though, he's not as big of a threat now. But yeah, don't feel like I'm lucky and missed Isaac completely. He's making sure I don't feel left out.
Anyway, I saw something occurring on Facebook that really irked me. There were people who were saying that Isaac wasn't a big deal. They were saying that they couldn't believe that people evacuated for such a small storm. And one person even said it was the Lousianaians own fault for living there in the first place, so they should stop being upset about the storm. This is completely and utterly unacceptable. Now, I'm going to take these one at a time.
1) Isaac wasn't a big deal.
I'd like to see you say that to the face of someone whose house flooded. I have a friend from elementary school who got about three feet of water in her house, and her family lost a lot. Three people that my mom works with lots practically everything. Isaac was a huge deal, and anyone who thinks otherwise is ignorant and should probably just keep their mouth shut.
2) People didn't need to evacuate.
Again, tell that to those whose homes flooded. And it's not even just the water. There were wind gusts up to 130 mph. And people lost electricity. It's not a huge deal at night in regards to it being hot, but once daylight breaks, and it's not raining anymore, it gets hot. And Louisiana heat can be very dangerous. All of these things mean no one was really safe. I wish my family could have gotten out of there. And again, maybe you should just be grateful that you didn't suffer like others and keep your mouth shut.
3) It's the Louisianaians' fault because they live there.
So, is it the people in Oklahoma's fault that their house was hit by a tornado? Is it the Californians' fault that their homes were destroyed by wildfires? And I guess you'd blame the Floridians for living in hurricane central too, am I right? Weather is everywhere. Stuff happens. Anywhere you live, there are things you have to live with. Also, after living in Louisiana for 17 years, you learn something. The majority of people who were born and raised in Louisiana, and whose parents and grandparents were born and raised there, are so connected to their heritage and Cajun culture that they will never leave. Louisiana will always be their home. So how about you take your ridiculously bad attitude, AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!? Because that sounds like a great idea to me.
Okay, I'm stepping down. I had my little rant. :)
I'm glad to know that my friends and family are okay. It'll definitely be a better week next week simply because Isaac is gone. :)
<3 Amber Marie
Just so you know, my family is safe. After almost three days without power, they got it back at around 7 pm. The house is fine. So compared to a lot of others, we were lucky.
I'm seriously glad that Isaac has moved on and plot twist: he's headed to visit me now. Though, he's not as big of a threat now. But yeah, don't feel like I'm lucky and missed Isaac completely. He's making sure I don't feel left out.
Anyway, I saw something occurring on Facebook that really irked me. There were people who were saying that Isaac wasn't a big deal. They were saying that they couldn't believe that people evacuated for such a small storm. And one person even said it was the Lousianaians own fault for living there in the first place, so they should stop being upset about the storm. This is completely and utterly unacceptable. Now, I'm going to take these one at a time.
1) Isaac wasn't a big deal.
I'd like to see you say that to the face of someone whose house flooded. I have a friend from elementary school who got about three feet of water in her house, and her family lost a lot. Three people that my mom works with lots practically everything. Isaac was a huge deal, and anyone who thinks otherwise is ignorant and should probably just keep their mouth shut.
2) People didn't need to evacuate.
Again, tell that to those whose homes flooded. And it's not even just the water. There were wind gusts up to 130 mph. And people lost electricity. It's not a huge deal at night in regards to it being hot, but once daylight breaks, and it's not raining anymore, it gets hot. And Louisiana heat can be very dangerous. All of these things mean no one was really safe. I wish my family could have gotten out of there. And again, maybe you should just be grateful that you didn't suffer like others and keep your mouth shut.
3) It's the Louisianaians' fault because they live there.
So, is it the people in Oklahoma's fault that their house was hit by a tornado? Is it the Californians' fault that their homes were destroyed by wildfires? And I guess you'd blame the Floridians for living in hurricane central too, am I right? Weather is everywhere. Stuff happens. Anywhere you live, there are things you have to live with. Also, after living in Louisiana for 17 years, you learn something. The majority of people who were born and raised in Louisiana, and whose parents and grandparents were born and raised there, are so connected to their heritage and Cajun culture that they will never leave. Louisiana will always be their home. So how about you take your ridiculously bad attitude, AND KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!? Because that sounds like a great idea to me.
Okay, I'm stepping down. I had my little rant. :)
I'm glad to know that my friends and family are okay. It'll definitely be a better week next week simply because Isaac is gone. :)
<3 Amber Marie
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Not An Easy Decision...
Sooooo...one thing I've been avoiding since I moved to Chicago is finding a church. When you go to the same church practically your entire life, it's hard to imagine going anywhere else. And while I had some issues at my old church, it was really the only place I knew. There was also the BCM at my old school, which made me feel at home when I was at school. But now I have to find a new church--a new place to call home.
For those of you who don't know, it's not as easy as walking into the nearest church on the corner. And as I found out, it's not as easy as a simple Google search either. My roommate and I seem to have very similar beliefs, but she went to a Methodist church for most of her life. That's vastly different from the non-denominational evangelical church I grew up in. (But believe me, it's nice to have a roommate that takes her relationship with God seriously. And it's nice because we have someone to explore churches with too.)
So tomorrow morning we are going to church and see how it feels to us. We already know that they have a college student ministry, so that's encouraging. I know that the first one mat not be the fit, but I won't find a church by sleeping in on Sundays.
So, I will keep you updated, and please pray for my roommate and me. We need the guidance, and hopefully we'll find a place that's a good fit for both of us.
-Amber Marie
For those of you who don't know, it's not as easy as walking into the nearest church on the corner. And as I found out, it's not as easy as a simple Google search either. My roommate and I seem to have very similar beliefs, but she went to a Methodist church for most of her life. That's vastly different from the non-denominational evangelical church I grew up in. (But believe me, it's nice to have a roommate that takes her relationship with God seriously. And it's nice because we have someone to explore churches with too.)
So tomorrow morning we are going to church and see how it feels to us. We already know that they have a college student ministry, so that's encouraging. I know that the first one mat not be the fit, but I won't find a church by sleeping in on Sundays.
So, I will keep you updated, and please pray for my roommate and me. We need the guidance, and hopefully we'll find a place that's a good fit for both of us.
-Amber Marie
Monday, August 20, 2012
Chicago!!! Part 2
I am officially a resident of Chicago! I have been here for a week, and let me tell you, it's not been easy. I miss my family like crazy. There's issues with my financial aid at school. I am still trying to get my job situated. And apparently my body thought it would be fun to get sick the first week I was here...
But the weather is amazing right now! It's 69 degrees out right now. What is it in NOLA? Like 80?? Yeah, definitely prefer the weather here in August. Lol.
Anyways, that's all for now, I guess. :)
-Amber Marie
But the weather is amazing right now! It's 69 degrees out right now. What is it in NOLA? Like 80?? Yeah, definitely prefer the weather here in August. Lol.
Anyways, that's all for now, I guess. :)
-Amber Marie
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Random Thoughts
I've spent a lot of time tonight thinking about people that I used to be friends with, and I realized that I really don't have any friends from when I was younger (there are a few and they know who they are...). I can think of at least ten people off the top of my head from middle school to the beginning of this year that I really don't care to ever talk to again. I know it sounds harsh, but when I think of all of the drama that they were associated with, I begin to wonder what I was thinking ever even hanging out with them at all...lol. I know that I wouldn't be who I am today without them ever being in my life, but seriously. I do have to admit that there are a select group of people, a majority of whom I have met in the past year, that I love dearly, and I hope that my distance doesn't hurt our friendship.
I say all of this to say that I truly hope that Chicago is going to be different. I am tired of petty high school drama. (Isn't college supposed to be full of adults???) There is a reason I was glad that I didn't go to high school--I got to avoid all of that junk!!!
On the Chicago note, I am leaving in 27 hours...cue freak out mode!
Until next time,
<3 Amber Marie
p.s. I probably won't be back until I'm in Chicago. Be ready! :D
I say all of this to say that I truly hope that Chicago is going to be different. I am tired of petty high school drama. (Isn't college supposed to be full of adults???) There is a reason I was glad that I didn't go to high school--I got to avoid all of that junk!!!
On the Chicago note, I am leaving in 27 hours...cue freak out mode!
Until next time,
<3 Amber Marie
p.s. I probably won't be back until I'm in Chicago. Be ready! :D
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Chicago!!! part 1
So, a week ago I left Louisiana to head to Chicago for the first time. That means I was in for a 13 hour drive to Indianapolis to my grandparents' house and then a 3 hour drive from there to Chicago. So, my dad and I left Tuesday morning for Indy. The drive was good. We didn't have any issue until we were in the mountains in Elizabethtown, Kentucky. We had lightning every 30 seconds and some moderate rain, so we stopped for dinner to let it pass. Fast forward a total of 13 1/2 hours, and we're in Indy. We spent Wednesday with my grandma since my grandpa was at work. We went to the pool and just kind of chilled all day.
My dad and I got up early Thursday morning and drove to Chicago. The first big thing we did was go apartment hunting. (Nothing had worked out thus far and it was kind of getting to the last minute because even though I'm not moving in until August 10th, my roommate needed to move in today.) But we had some time to kill until our first appointment, so we went to the beach. Yes, the beach. It was beautiful! SEE, I told you!
Anyway, we saw two places. The first was cheaper but the kitchen and the bathroom were tiny and there was no a/c. The second place was a lot bigger and it had a/c!! :) Lol. But seriously, the second place was definitely my favorite. It was a block from a grocery store, a bank (which I happen to bank at), and a Family Dollar. Perfect location in regards to a CTA bus stop (literally right outside the building) and a CTA Red line stop (a block and a half away). So I was excited. It just had to work out.
After we left the second apartment, we went to check into our hotel. {This is a picture of downtown Chicago on our way back into town from the northside. The buildings are huge!!!} We stayed at the Congress Plaza Hotel and Convention Center. It is literally across the street from my school. Seriously, it was 203 feet from the front entrance of the hotel to the front entrance of Roosevelt University. (Google Maps told me so. Lol)
Speaking of Roosevelt, here it is!! Well, one of the buildings anyway. This is named the Auditorium building because it houses the historic Auditorium Theatre. I look forward to seeing the inside of the theatre. :)
There is also the Wasbash building, which is brand new. It's also 31 stories high and is the second tallest higher education building in the United States. (The tallest is in Pennsylvania, which according to my orientation leader, Brett, doesn't count because it doesn't overlook Lake Michigan.) It is a completely green building. Everything that could possibly be made of recycled materials, is made of them! Everything that went into the building was better for the earth and everyone in the building, even the paint was the fume-less kind. And I think the best part is that the elevator speaks to you in a British accent! When she says the floor or "going up" and "going down," it is a distinctly British voice. Also, all of the handicapped exits that lead to the elevators say "lift." We're pretty sure that whoever designed the building was a Brit. :) {In the picture the Auditorium building is the tan building. The Wabash building is the tall glass building beside it. I love the zig-zag look on both sides!} There is also the Gage building, but I haven't seen it yet. I will soon then because all of my classes are in there this semester. :)
Anyways, Thursday night, Dad and I ate at this little café called Artists Café. It's next door to the Auditorium building. I have a feeling that I will be seeing a lot of this place. :)
Friday was orientation day! We had to be at check-in at 8:30 in the morning. So, we got up early and had Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast. I had a huge iced coffee because I definitely needed the caffeine. Orientation started at 9, and we literally didn't leave until 4 pm. Lunch was good though! We had lunch in the Wabash building's cafeteria.
We were really tired after orientation, and we didn't feel like walking too much, so we had dinner at WingStop. Yay, chain food places. :) Lol.
On Saturday we drove around a bit, but we were kind of tired, so we headed back to Indy. Somehow we ended up on a toll road, which was different than the road we came in on, and we had to pay $5 worth of tolls. (We finally figured out that we came into Chicago on 94 rather than 90, which is the toll road we left on.) We made it back to Indy around 4 pm (Their time, Eastern time. Yeah, lots of time changing...blech!) No sooner did we walk in the door of my grandparents' house, I got a call from the realtor saying my roommate and I were approved for the second apartment! But this posed a new problem: I had to sign the lease before my roommate could move in.
My dad and I were originally supposed to leave to head back to Louisiana on Sunday morning. Instead we ended up having to drive back to Chicago. Yay!! :) {This is the traffic we had to drive in and some pretty buildings. Lol}
I met up with the realtor and signed the lease, and just like that, I had a place to live in CHICAGO! :D
After I signed the lease, we drove back to Indy and had a good night's rest. We got up Monday morning and started the 13 hour drive back to Louisiana. And let me just say, as much as I love people here, the weather SUCKS! I got back here and it was so humid. The first words out of my mouth were, "Can we go back to Chicago now?" My dad looked at me and said, "I don't think so." Hehe.
So anyway, next Thursday I am leaving Louisiana for good. It hasn't hit me yet, and I've only packed one box, but I know that it's not going to be super easy. But this is a good thing. It's what's supposed to happen, and I am excited! (The only way I would be more excited is if Ash was coming with me.)
Yay for updates! :D
<3 AmberMarie
Anyway, we saw two places. The first was cheaper but the kitchen and the bathroom were tiny and there was no a/c. The second place was a lot bigger and it had a/c!! :) Lol. But seriously, the second place was definitely my favorite. It was a block from a grocery store, a bank (which I happen to bank at), and a Family Dollar. Perfect location in regards to a CTA bus stop (literally right outside the building) and a CTA Red line stop (a block and a half away). So I was excited. It just had to work out.
Speaking of Roosevelt, here it is!! Well, one of the buildings anyway. This is named the Auditorium building because it houses the historic Auditorium Theatre. I look forward to seeing the inside of the theatre. :)There is also the Wasbash building, which is brand new. It's also 31 stories high and is the second tallest higher education building in the United States. (The tallest is in Pennsylvania, which according to my orientation leader, Brett, doesn't count because it doesn't overlook Lake Michigan.) It is a completely green building. Everything that could possibly be made of recycled materials, is made of them! Everything that went into the building was better for the earth and everyone in the building, even the paint was the fume-less kind. And I think the best part is that the elevator speaks to you in a British accent! When she says the floor or "going up" and "going down," it is a distinctly British voice. Also, all of the handicapped exits that lead to the elevators say "lift." We're pretty sure that whoever designed the building was a Brit. :) {In the picture the Auditorium building is the tan building. The Wabash building is the tall glass building beside it. I love the zig-zag look on both sides!} There is also the Gage building, but I haven't seen it yet. I will soon then because all of my classes are in there this semester. :)
Friday was orientation day! We had to be at check-in at 8:30 in the morning. So, we got up early and had Dunkin' Donuts for breakfast. I had a huge iced coffee because I definitely needed the caffeine. Orientation started at 9, and we literally didn't leave until 4 pm. Lunch was good though! We had lunch in the Wabash building's cafeteria.
We were really tired after orientation, and we didn't feel like walking too much, so we had dinner at WingStop. Yay, chain food places. :) Lol.
On Saturday we drove around a bit, but we were kind of tired, so we headed back to Indy. Somehow we ended up on a toll road, which was different than the road we came in on, and we had to pay $5 worth of tolls. (We finally figured out that we came into Chicago on 94 rather than 90, which is the toll road we left on.) We made it back to Indy around 4 pm (Their time, Eastern time. Yeah, lots of time changing...blech!) No sooner did we walk in the door of my grandparents' house, I got a call from the realtor saying my roommate and I were approved for the second apartment! But this posed a new problem: I had to sign the lease before my roommate could move in.
I met up with the realtor and signed the lease, and just like that, I had a place to live in CHICAGO! :D
After I signed the lease, we drove back to Indy and had a good night's rest. We got up Monday morning and started the 13 hour drive back to Louisiana. And let me just say, as much as I love people here, the weather SUCKS! I got back here and it was so humid. The first words out of my mouth were, "Can we go back to Chicago now?" My dad looked at me and said, "I don't think so." Hehe.
So anyway, next Thursday I am leaving Louisiana for good. It hasn't hit me yet, and I've only packed one box, but I know that it's not going to be super easy. But this is a good thing. It's what's supposed to happen, and I am excited! (The only way I would be more excited is if Ash was coming with me.)
Yay for updates! :D
<3 AmberMarie
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
It's not going to be the same without you...
Just so you know, Ash, I am bummed that you aren't coming with me. And I'm sorry if all the talk about Chicago is depressing for you. I keep asking you if you are okay, and you keep saying yes. Obviously you're not, so this is my public apology. I was doing this for you, and now I'm going without you. But you will join me in a year. You have absolutely no choice in the matter. Love you lil sis.
<3 Pammy
<3 Pammy
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Con-GRAD-ulations!!
Soooooo, Thursday night my sister, one of our best friends (Rachy), and four people we've practically grown up with graduated high school. That means that they are adults...sort of...
How is this possible when I can remember each of them at 5 & 6 years old!!!
Well, somehow we all made it this far in our lives for the day to come and go, so congrats to the Class of 2012! You all are an amazing group! Have a good summer and I hope you're ready for August! :)
<3 Amber Marie
How is this possible when I can remember each of them at 5 & 6 years old!!!
Well, somehow we all made it this far in our lives for the day to come and go, so congrats to the Class of 2012! You all are an amazing group! Have a good summer and I hope you're ready for August! :)
<3 Amber Marie
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY ASHLEY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
YOU LOOK LIKE A MONKEY!
AND YOU ACT LIKE ONE TOO!
**I decided to be nice**
Anyways, wow. You're 18-years-old today. How the heck did this happen? You are my little sister! It should not be allowed for little sisters to turn 18-years-old. And not only that, but you are graduating in 8 days, too! This should definitely not be allowed! Two huge milestones in a week!? You're going to kill me!
Lol. Well, I love you. You're awesome. Have fun working on your birthday. It's something I've done every year since I wasn't lucky enough to have a birthday in the summer, and I had to go to school/do school work on my birthday practically every year of my life. You lucky little snot! :P
Have an amazing day!
<3 Pammy
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
YOU LOOK LIKE A MONKEY!
AND YOU ACT LIKE ONE TOO!
**I decided to be nice**
Anyways, wow. You're 18-years-old today. How the heck did this happen? You are my little sister! It should not be allowed for little sisters to turn 18-years-old. And not only that, but you are graduating in 8 days, too! This should definitely not be allowed! Two huge milestones in a week!? You're going to kill me!
Lol. Well, I love you. You're awesome. Have fun working on your birthday. It's something I've done every year since I wasn't lucky enough to have a birthday in the summer, and I had to go to school/do school work on my birthday practically every year of my life. You lucky little snot! :P
Have an amazing day!
<3 Pammy
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
GUESS WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT!!!
First I must apologize for the great lapse of time between entries. I have been a very busy girl. :) With work and my sister, one of my closest friends, and a few others I've know practically all my life graduating in a week and a day, I have no time for silly little blogs.
But I must make the exception to say, Chicago is happening. :) I have the money to pay Ash & my deposits. I can't believe that six months ago, this was a dream, and in two and a half months, IT WILL BE REAL!
Ashley and I are taking off to Chicago! It's truly amazing. :)
I can't control myself!! :)
Okay, I'm going for now, but I'll be back in 30 minutes for a very special post. I think you know what it is. ;)
BRB,
Amber Marie
But I must make the exception to say, Chicago is happening. :) I have the money to pay Ash & my deposits. I can't believe that six months ago, this was a dream, and in two and a half months, IT WILL BE REAL!
Ashley and I are taking off to Chicago! It's truly amazing. :)
I can't control myself!! :)
Okay, I'm going for now, but I'll be back in 30 minutes for a very special post. I think you know what it is. ;)
BRB,
Amber Marie
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
It's Got To Be A God Thing!
So, I have an amazing story to tell. It's about going to Chicago, and I've finally made a decision.
Yesterday I went to the BCM on campus to meet with four of my sisters for a Bible study. One of the first things we do is ask for prayer requests. There were a bunch of them going around, and I asked to be rid of my procrastination in making the decision about next semester and for the funding to actually go. We prayed, and we did our Bible study. (Talked about the Resurrection in honor of Easter.) After the Bible study I was going to hang out with two of my sisters while they were studying. I stepped out of the doors of the BCM and my phone started ringing. It wasn't a number I recognized, and it was from Arizona. I decided to answer it. The lady on the other end asked for an Alanna. I told her she had the wrong number, but before I hung up she asked if I was Amber. I said yes, and then she explained she was an assistant professor of psychology from Roosevelt University. She was calling to welcome me to the psychology program and asked me if I had any questions. Usually I say no when I get these calls because they're usually really awkward. I told her I was interested in the forensic psychology program and she told me that she is a forensic psychologist. I got kind of excited at that point. I told her about my particular interests and wanting to study addictive behaviors. She started talking about a class that she's teaching at the Chicago campus in the fall, and she said that she thinks it's something that I would be interested in. She also said that if it all works out in the fall that there is another class that she's teaching in the spring and there might even be a job opportunity for me. (I should say that I was outside during this entire conversation and the sky got dark really fast and lightning and thunder came out of nowhere so I started running across campus back to my apartment. I barely beat the pouring rain.) As soon as I hung up with her, I call my dad and then my mom. I texted one of my sisters from the bible study. I told my grand-big and my friend from the psychology department at school here.
With the way the events unfolded, it has to be a God thing. I asked for help and there it was. I am thoroughly excited. I know I'm leaving some good people, but I think this is what I'm supposed to do. I can always get a film degree after I get my psych degree if that's where I feel led. But for now this is what I'm doing and I'm happy.
So after many months and posts, I am going to Roosevelt University in the fall and I will be in Chicago. :)
Yesterday I went to the BCM on campus to meet with four of my sisters for a Bible study. One of the first things we do is ask for prayer requests. There were a bunch of them going around, and I asked to be rid of my procrastination in making the decision about next semester and for the funding to actually go. We prayed, and we did our Bible study. (Talked about the Resurrection in honor of Easter.) After the Bible study I was going to hang out with two of my sisters while they were studying. I stepped out of the doors of the BCM and my phone started ringing. It wasn't a number I recognized, and it was from Arizona. I decided to answer it. The lady on the other end asked for an Alanna. I told her she had the wrong number, but before I hung up she asked if I was Amber. I said yes, and then she explained she was an assistant professor of psychology from Roosevelt University. She was calling to welcome me to the psychology program and asked me if I had any questions. Usually I say no when I get these calls because they're usually really awkward. I told her I was interested in the forensic psychology program and she told me that she is a forensic psychologist. I got kind of excited at that point. I told her about my particular interests and wanting to study addictive behaviors. She started talking about a class that she's teaching at the Chicago campus in the fall, and she said that she thinks it's something that I would be interested in. She also said that if it all works out in the fall that there is another class that she's teaching in the spring and there might even be a job opportunity for me. (I should say that I was outside during this entire conversation and the sky got dark really fast and lightning and thunder came out of nowhere so I started running across campus back to my apartment. I barely beat the pouring rain.) As soon as I hung up with her, I call my dad and then my mom. I texted one of my sisters from the bible study. I told my grand-big and my friend from the psychology department at school here.
With the way the events unfolded, it has to be a God thing. I asked for help and there it was. I am thoroughly excited. I know I'm leaving some good people, but I think this is what I'm supposed to do. I can always get a film degree after I get my psych degree if that's where I feel led. But for now this is what I'm doing and I'm happy.
So after many months and posts, I am going to Roosevelt University in the fall and I will be in Chicago. :)
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Still Torn...
Okay, so I'll start off with the good news! I heard back from Columbia College Chicago, and I have been accepted into the film & video program! :) So, that's two acceptances to two schools in Chicago, and I have made basically no plans to stay here. I'm fully on board with being in Chicago in August.
However, I still don't know which school I will be going to. I thought that if I got accepted to Columbia that I'd be able to just ignore Roosevelt and all the money they gave me, and go to Columbia. But I have this issue with not wanting people to be disappointed in and/or worried about me, and it's keeping me from being able to make a decision. I know that my mom wants me to stick with psychology and get the degree before pursuing anything else because I'll have a backup plan. And I know my aunt wants me to stick with psychology because it's a more stable job market, etc.
I know that I need to make my own decisions, but I don't want anyone to be unhappy with my decision and/or not be supportive of the decision. So even though I thought that it would be an easier decision once I was accepted, I'm still struggling with where to go.
But one thing is 99% sure, I will be in Chicago come August. Question is, which school & what major...
So yeah...
<3 Amber Marie
However, I still don't know which school I will be going to. I thought that if I got accepted to Columbia that I'd be able to just ignore Roosevelt and all the money they gave me, and go to Columbia. But I have this issue with not wanting people to be disappointed in and/or worried about me, and it's keeping me from being able to make a decision. I know that my mom wants me to stick with psychology and get the degree before pursuing anything else because I'll have a backup plan. And I know my aunt wants me to stick with psychology because it's a more stable job market, etc.
I know that I need to make my own decisions, but I don't want anyone to be unhappy with my decision and/or not be supportive of the decision. So even though I thought that it would be an easier decision once I was accepted, I'm still struggling with where to go.
But one thing is 99% sure, I will be in Chicago come August. Question is, which school & what major...
So yeah...
<3 Amber Marie
Friday, March 9, 2012
Chicago Update!!
It's bee a while since I've talked about Chicago, but that doesn't mean that I haven't been thinking about it. :)
I have good news. :) I applied to Columbia College for film and Roosevelt University for psychology, remember??
Well, I have been accepted to Roosevelt University! They have offered me a scholarship and a grant. And I qualify for their honors program! :)
It's looking like Chicago is going to be a reality. :)
The only dilemma now is whether I want to be a psych major anymore. While I know that simply being in Chicago will make me considerably happy, I don't know that being in the psychology program will make me happy in the long run. I'm really serious about wanting to be in the film industry. Maybe not to be a director or producer, but to be a screenwriter. Or you know what, maybe I'll do all three. But first things first, I need to go to school for it. And Columbia is really where I see myself.
So, now I don't really know what to do about Roosevelt. They are giving me an amazing offer. How can I turn it down? But then again, why go to a school that costs twice as much as where I am now to pursue the same degree and possibly not be happy??
So every time it seems like I have made progress, another wrench gets thrown in. If only Columbia would process my letter of recommendation! Then I would know where I stand with them! But will that help or hurt the process!?
Yup, more rambling and going around in circles while I try to decide what to do with my life.
But, it's now looking like I'll be in Chicago in August no matter what major & school I choose, which is good because right now I'm ready for Nicholls to be in my rear view mirror.
As always, comments are wanted and more than welcome. :)
Until my next rambling post,
Amber Marie
I have good news. :) I applied to Columbia College for film and Roosevelt University for psychology, remember??
Well, I have been accepted to Roosevelt University! They have offered me a scholarship and a grant. And I qualify for their honors program! :)
It's looking like Chicago is going to be a reality. :)
The only dilemma now is whether I want to be a psych major anymore. While I know that simply being in Chicago will make me considerably happy, I don't know that being in the psychology program will make me happy in the long run. I'm really serious about wanting to be in the film industry. Maybe not to be a director or producer, but to be a screenwriter. Or you know what, maybe I'll do all three. But first things first, I need to go to school for it. And Columbia is really where I see myself.
So, now I don't really know what to do about Roosevelt. They are giving me an amazing offer. How can I turn it down? But then again, why go to a school that costs twice as much as where I am now to pursue the same degree and possibly not be happy??
So every time it seems like I have made progress, another wrench gets thrown in. If only Columbia would process my letter of recommendation! Then I would know where I stand with them! But will that help or hurt the process!?
Yup, more rambling and going around in circles while I try to decide what to do with my life.
But, it's now looking like I'll be in Chicago in August no matter what major & school I choose, which is good because right now I'm ready for Nicholls to be in my rear view mirror.
As always, comments are wanted and more than welcome. :)
Until my next rambling post,
Amber Marie
Friday, February 24, 2012
Moving On...
From today forward, I'm not looking back. What's done is done, and I can't change it. I am done trying to fix it when it clearly isn't going to happen. I am giving them one final apology, and I'm not asking for forgiveness. I'm asking for them to take the apology and do what they will with it because that's it. Nothing's going to happen if we keep going on like this, so one final apology and as far as I'm concerned, I'm done.
I'm starting over new, and I'm so ready.
Peace,
Amber Marie
I'm starting over new, and I'm so ready.
Peace,
Amber Marie
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
I really messed up today...
I may have just lost two of the closest people to me because of stupid stuff. If we had just talked this out a long time ago, it might not have happened like this. And I might not have said something that I really regret because I don't mean it, and it hurt someone I was supposed to be really close to.
I don't know why everything has to go all crazy and out of control all at once. There is so much going on in my head that I can't even think straight right now. I'm not saying that the confrontation shouldn't have happened, just that it shouldn't have happened the way it did and when it did.
I don't know if she'll even read this, and I know that one doesn't have access to this, but I want to apologize again for saying things that I don't mean and for blowing this out of proportion.
I'm sorry to those who actually read this because you will not get more information. I just needed to say this.
-Amber Marie
I don't know why everything has to go all crazy and out of control all at once. There is so much going on in my head that I can't even think straight right now. I'm not saying that the confrontation shouldn't have happened, just that it shouldn't have happened the way it did and when it did.
I don't know if she'll even read this, and I know that one doesn't have access to this, but I want to apologize again for saying things that I don't mean and for blowing this out of proportion.
I'm sorry to those who actually read this because you will not get more information. I just needed to say this.
-Amber Marie
I think the day after Valentine's Day has some sort of special significance...
But I just can't put my finger on it....
OH WAIT!!!
It's someone's birthday. But who?? I know it's someone important..........
OH YEAH!!!
That's right, it's someone who read this blog...well, that's one of 3 people...
HMMMM....
Okay, okay. I've figured it out!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!
You are amazing. You are funny. You love pink enough so the rest of the world doesn't have to. You love God with all your heart. You are an example to the world. You are an inspiration to those who want to be nearer to God. You somehow know how to deal with a little brother. (Seriously, I'm lucky Ashley is a girl because I don't think I could have handled a little brother.)
Anyway, I say all of this to say that I love you. And I'm so glad you have lived another whole year. :)
<3 Amber Marie
OH WAIT!!!
It's someone's birthday. But who?? I know it's someone important..........
OH YEAH!!!
That's right, it's someone who read this blog...well, that's one of 3 people...
HMMMM....
Okay, okay. I've figured it out!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!
You are amazing. You are funny. You love pink enough so the rest of the world doesn't have to. You love God with all your heart. You are an example to the world. You are an inspiration to those who want to be nearer to God. You somehow know how to deal with a little brother. (Seriously, I'm lucky Ashley is a girl because I don't think I could have handled a little brother.)
Anyway, I say all of this to say that I love you. And I'm so glad you have lived another whole year. :)
<3 Amber Marie
Friday, February 10, 2012
Sorority Soliloquy
I’ve heard it said a sorority
Is a waste of time; but I know better…
For I have seen the love and walked
In the splendor of sisterhood…
I’ve heard it said that a sorority
Is sad; I can’t agree…
I’ve heard it said that a sorority
Is a dull, selfish place; It can’t be true…
I’ve seen the affection, watched it
Fill my heart, the very air…
And I have learned the Creed
Polished and spotless from end to end
And I’ve watched the sorority’s
Devotion drape each and every active
And pledge to look like nature’s
Freshly-granted love nourished for growth…
I’ve heard it said that a sorority is
Harmful, but they are wrong…
For I know my sisters…watched them
Strive to save a cause, spend of themselves…
And I’ve watched them hope, dream,
And aspire, side by side…
I’ve heard them say these things,
But I would disagree…
Because for every shadow I have
Seen a hundred rays of light…
For every plaintive note I’ve
Heard the symphony of joy…
For every penny-weight of bad,
I’ve found a ton of good…
Good in nature, in people, in my sorority…
I’m thankful I belong.
Is a waste of time; but I know better…
For I have seen the love and walked
In the splendor of sisterhood…
I’ve heard it said that a sorority
Is sad; I can’t agree…
I’ve heard it said that a sorority
Is a dull, selfish place; It can’t be true…
I’ve seen the affection, watched it
Fill my heart, the very air…
And I have learned the Creed
Polished and spotless from end to end
And I’ve watched the sorority’s
Devotion drape each and every active
And pledge to look like nature’s
Freshly-granted love nourished for growth…
I’ve heard it said that a sorority is
Harmful, but they are wrong…
For I know my sisters…watched them
Strive to save a cause, spend of themselves…
And I’ve watched them hope, dream,
And aspire, side by side…
I’ve heard them say these things,
But I would disagree…
Because for every shadow I have
Seen a hundred rays of light…
For every plaintive note I’ve
Heard the symphony of joy…
For every penny-weight of bad,
I’ve found a ton of good…
Good in nature, in people, in my sorority…
I’m thankful I belong.
(not mine obviously)
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Interesting Lunch Convesation...
So today I went to lunch with my BFF and my big sis. We were talking, having a nice normal lunch conversation, and I mentioned that Ash was flying home from Chicago today. And my big asks if Ash is really going to college in Chicago in the fall. I said if not there, then in Indiana, most likely. Then she says she's concerned that Ash won't be able to live away from our family and/or my parents would constantly be worried because that's the family dynamic we have. And I completely agree that our family is too close knit to live that far away from each other. That's part of why I've been thinking of a transfer...(see where this is going??) Anyway, so then I mention that the idea of moving back to Indiana has been discussed a little in my house (not necessarily including me). And then my big says that she doesn't see me staying here if my family leaves. And I'm kinda just sitting there like, "What the heck just happened here??" and "This is so not the conversation that I wanted to have today, at lunch!" Anyway, my BFF knows about my possible transfer, and she was kinda sitting there like, "Where is this going?" I decided that today, at lunch, was not the best time to mention me possibly leaving, but I said that IF my family leaves, I'll have to look into my options. I know it's not the hugest of deals, but she kinda just caught me off guard. I thought that it would be hard to tell her that I was leaving, but she seems to understand that my family is really close, due to the fact that we've lived so far from extended family for so long. So maybe, when I make my decision, it won't be so hard to tell her.
Yeah, that's all I have for today. :) I figured since you got 3 posts in one day, I'd space the next one out a little. :)
<3
Amber Marie
p.s. Yes, my sister went to Chicago. Yes, I am very jealous. And she told me today that when (when not IF) we live in Chicago, we have to go to this restaurant (she'll probably comment the name, I just can't remember) the night we move in.
So yeah, there's that to look forward to. :)
Bye. :D
Yeah, that's all I have for today. :) I figured since you got 3 posts in one day, I'd space the next one out a little. :)
<3
Amber Marie
p.s. Yes, my sister went to Chicago. Yes, I am very jealous. And she told me today that when (when not IF) we live in Chicago, we have to go to this restaurant (she'll probably comment the name, I just can't remember) the night we move in.
So yeah, there's that to look forward to. :)
Bye. :D
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Ahhhh, the Chicago Decision, we meet again! (Post 3 of 3)
I know, I know. I already posted twice today! What can I say, I love you! I have a lot to say today! And there was no way I could smash them all in to one post. They were way to unrelated.
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I actually applied to another college in Chicago that is literally right down the street from Columbia. It's Roosevelt University. I applied for psychology. Gasp. That's my current major! Well, I figured that if I decide that psych is right for me, why shouldn't I still go to Chicago? Major "duh" moment. I don't know why I didn't think of it before! This is not to say that Columbia is out of the picture because that is no where near true. This is a "just in case I figure out that psych is for me, I can still go to Chicago if I want" option.
I have not really gotten any closer to making a decision, I just wanted to let you know that I threw something else into the loop. I think that this is a good idea in case I figure out that I'm more obsessed with the idea of Chicago than I am passionate about the film major, since I'm still kind of in la la dream land about the whole Chicago move.
As always, feel free to throw advice my way. I'll read it. I may not take it, but I'll read it. :)
Anyway, peace out!
I have 7:30 class in the morning. Time for bed.
Night,
Amber Marie
P.S. Yup, I'm finally done. :)
Anyway, I just wanted to say that I actually applied to another college in Chicago that is literally right down the street from Columbia. It's Roosevelt University. I applied for psychology. Gasp. That's my current major! Well, I figured that if I decide that psych is right for me, why shouldn't I still go to Chicago? Major "duh" moment. I don't know why I didn't think of it before! This is not to say that Columbia is out of the picture because that is no where near true. This is a "just in case I figure out that psych is for me, I can still go to Chicago if I want" option.
I have not really gotten any closer to making a decision, I just wanted to let you know that I threw something else into the loop. I think that this is a good idea in case I figure out that I'm more obsessed with the idea of Chicago than I am passionate about the film major, since I'm still kind of in la la dream land about the whole Chicago move.
As always, feel free to throw advice my way. I'll read it. I may not take it, but I'll read it. :)
Anyway, peace out!
I have 7:30 class in the morning. Time for bed.
Night,
Amber Marie
P.S. Yup, I'm finally done. :)
Service Learning Project. (Post 2 of 3)
As a part of one of my classes this semester, I have a service learning project I have to do. This project consists of the class helping with an after-school program in a not-so-great neighborhood; it's literally the projects. The kids from the neighborhood come to the facility and they get help with their homework and then break off in to age groups for activities. Today was my first day helping with the program. (Three of my sorority sisters are in my class, and they come on Wednesdays too. My grand-big sis works the same shift as me from 3-5 pm. The other two work the 4-6 pm shift.)
Anyway, I worked with two kids today; a girl about six years old and a boy about seven years old. The girl finished her homework in about 15 minutes with basically no help from me. She knew what she needed to do so she could go play.
The boy was the most entertaining child I've worked with in a long time. He sat with me from 3:30 until I left at 5. His favorite color is pink. His favorite Disney princess is Aurora/Sleeping Beauty. He had to color three pictures that started with the letter "r" for his homework: a rainbow, a ring, and a rabbit. His rainbow was all shades of red and pink. His ring was purple and gold for LSU, as per my grand-big's suggestion. And his rabbit, well his rabbit was green, and I mean crayon green. He had another paper of pictures to color, cut, and glue to another piece of paper. It took him 45 minutes because he decided that my handout from the program was more fun to color. He also colored one of my sister's fingernails. Once he was finished with his homework, we put together two puzzles; one was Disney princesses and the other was superheroes. We never finished the princesses because it was difficult, and I'm pretty sure we were missing a piece or two. The superhero one, on the other hand, was done in ten minutes. I left thinking if I could work with this little boy every week during this project, I would have no complaints.
I love this program already. I know it was only the first day. I know so much can happen in the coming weeks, but the look on that little boy's face when my grand-big and I had to leave made me never want to leave.
So be ready for more posts about this project because if it continues to go like today went, there will be many more stories to come. :)
Amber Marie
P.S. If you didn't get the memo, there will be one more post tonight! Stay tuned! :)
Anyway, I worked with two kids today; a girl about six years old and a boy about seven years old. The girl finished her homework in about 15 minutes with basically no help from me. She knew what she needed to do so she could go play.
The boy was the most entertaining child I've worked with in a long time. He sat with me from 3:30 until I left at 5. His favorite color is pink. His favorite Disney princess is Aurora/Sleeping Beauty. He had to color three pictures that started with the letter "r" for his homework: a rainbow, a ring, and a rabbit. His rainbow was all shades of red and pink. His ring was purple and gold for LSU, as per my grand-big's suggestion. And his rabbit, well his rabbit was green, and I mean crayon green. He had another paper of pictures to color, cut, and glue to another piece of paper. It took him 45 minutes because he decided that my handout from the program was more fun to color. He also colored one of my sister's fingernails. Once he was finished with his homework, we put together two puzzles; one was Disney princesses and the other was superheroes. We never finished the princesses because it was difficult, and I'm pretty sure we were missing a piece or two. The superhero one, on the other hand, was done in ten minutes. I left thinking if I could work with this little boy every week during this project, I would have no complaints.
I love this program already. I know it was only the first day. I know so much can happen in the coming weeks, but the look on that little boy's face when my grand-big and I had to leave made me never want to leave.
So be ready for more posts about this project because if it continues to go like today went, there will be many more stories to come. :)
Amber Marie
P.S. If you didn't get the memo, there will be one more post tonight! Stay tuned! :)
"Sorority Girls" (Post 1 of 3)
So, today in biology, instead of learning about fungi (which is apparently pronounced fun-ji with a long i and not fun-guy), I was learning about a show on TLC called Sorority Girls. So get ready for a rant about how it misrepresents us initiated sorority women on US college campuses.
Okay. This show is about five American sorority women going to the UK and starting an all new sorority in Leeds. (The five girls were/are part of NPC sororities here in the US.) Anyway, so these girls treat sorority recruitment (They call it "rush.") like a game show, rather than an opportunity to make their sisterhood a better and stronger group of women. They haze their pledges, who should be called "potential new members," and that's not just not acceptable in any Greek organization in the States. They will eventually air their ritual initiation ceremony, which also would never happen with a Greek organization because that is a secret ceremony meant only for the initiated members of the particular organization.
This show feeds every stereotype of a Greek organization that Greek organizations try to fight against constantly. Most chapters of most Greek organizations are about brother/sisterhood, scholarship, networking, service, and bettering yourself. (I say most because there are some who don't care and have caused the Greek world to have a bad reputation.) I am disappointed with this show. I am disgusted by this show. And frankly, I think it should be pulled off the air. If they want to air it, it should be forced to say that it's another piece of scripted reality tv junk that should not be taken literally. (I know I watch reality tv, but I understand that there is very little that is real about reality tv.) If people know that Greek life wasn't like this show, I don't think that it would be as big of a problem necessarily, but the general population thinks that this show is real Greek life, and that is a problem.
Now, I know some of you were not impressed when I told you that I decided to go through sorority recruitment and that I pledged Delta Zeta. And I'm sorry if you don't particularly care about this post. I'm giving you permission to completely ignore it, although if you've made it this far, then you're pretty much done. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! **COUGH, COUGH** (You also know I love you, in a sisterly-friend way.)
Alright, I'm done.
Amber Marie
P.S. This is post 1 of 3 tonight. So I hope you love me because you're about to hear even more from me! :D
Okay. This show is about five American sorority women going to the UK and starting an all new sorority in Leeds. (The five girls were/are part of NPC sororities here in the US.) Anyway, so these girls treat sorority recruitment (They call it "rush.") like a game show, rather than an opportunity to make their sisterhood a better and stronger group of women. They haze their pledges, who should be called "potential new members," and that's not just not acceptable in any Greek organization in the States. They will eventually air their ritual initiation ceremony, which also would never happen with a Greek organization because that is a secret ceremony meant only for the initiated members of the particular organization.
This show feeds every stereotype of a Greek organization that Greek organizations try to fight against constantly. Most chapters of most Greek organizations are about brother/sisterhood, scholarship, networking, service, and bettering yourself. (I say most because there are some who don't care and have caused the Greek world to have a bad reputation.) I am disappointed with this show. I am disgusted by this show. And frankly, I think it should be pulled off the air. If they want to air it, it should be forced to say that it's another piece of scripted reality tv junk that should not be taken literally. (I know I watch reality tv, but I understand that there is very little that is real about reality tv.) If people know that Greek life wasn't like this show, I don't think that it would be as big of a problem necessarily, but the general population thinks that this show is real Greek life, and that is a problem.
Now, I know some of you were not impressed when I told you that I decided to go through sorority recruitment and that I pledged Delta Zeta. And I'm sorry if you don't particularly care about this post. I'm giving you permission to completely ignore it, although if you've made it this far, then you're pretty much done. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! **COUGH, COUGH** (You also know I love you, in a sisterly-friend way.)
Alright, I'm done.
Amber Marie
P.S. This is post 1 of 3 tonight. So I hope you love me because you're about to hear even more from me! :D
Monday, January 30, 2012
Reply to some advice I was given...
Before I reply, let me show you what advice I was given:
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND
LOGIC! THEY ARE DUMB!!! YOU HAVE TO GO WITH YOUR DREAMS AND GO TO
CHICAGO!YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO TO GO TO CHICAGO? I WOULD GO
FIND SOME POOR BLOKE AND CUT OFF HIS HANDS FOR THAT CHANCE!
(probably not, but you the picture) SO YEAH, YOU NEED TO GO!!!"
Well, if things keep going the way they're going, I'm pretty sure I will. I'm pretty confident that if my parents leave Louisiana, I will too. I know I could handle being in Louisiana without them, but I don't really want to. I want to be close enough that if anything happens on either end that I can get there without a lot of trouble. I want to be able to surprise them with visits and vise-versa. I know I have a lot of support from my sisters and my friends, but it's not the same as having family close by.
I still haven't made a firm decision, but there are more things that are seeming to pull me from Louisiana, and I guess I just have to wait and see where this takes me.
Amber Marie
"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! DON'T LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND
LOGIC! THEY ARE DUMB!!! YOU HAVE TO GO WITH YOUR DREAMS AND GO TO
CHICAGO!YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO TO GO TO CHICAGO? I WOULD GO
FIND SOME POOR BLOKE AND CUT OFF HIS HANDS FOR THAT CHANCE!
(probably not, but you the picture) SO YEAH, YOU NEED TO GO!!!"
Well, if things keep going the way they're going, I'm pretty sure I will. I'm pretty confident that if my parents leave Louisiana, I will too. I know I could handle being in Louisiana without them, but I don't really want to. I want to be close enough that if anything happens on either end that I can get there without a lot of trouble. I want to be able to surprise them with visits and vise-versa. I know I have a lot of support from my sisters and my friends, but it's not the same as having family close by.
I still haven't made a firm decision, but there are more things that are seeming to pull me from Louisiana, and I guess I just have to wait and see where this takes me.
Amber Marie
Thursday, January 26, 2012
General rambling about decisions and pros and cons...the usual
Over winter break, if you were to ask me if I was going to be in Chicago for the fall 2012 semester, the answer most likely would have been yes. Fast forward six weeks later, the answer's not nearly as certain. After slipping back into the swing of things with DZ and friends and school in general, everything feels right. This is what I'm supposed to be doing, and this is where I'm supposed to be. There are so many things that I would be leaving behind that I really don't know if I could desert. Delta Zeta (the bond & connections), the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry) where I've been getting my spiritual nourishment, the small town homey feel, and the people. I think the people might be the hardest to leave behind. There are so many that I would miss. Certain ones who would be sad and maybe even hurt if I left. I know that a few would be happy to see me pursuing something that I truly want to do, but I still feel like there's a bond that I can't just walk away from.
There's a rational part of me that thinks that if I do go to Chicago and it doesn't work out that I may be embarking on the biggest mistake of my life. How could I ever overcome that? What if I go to Chicago for a semester and realize film isn't what I want to do with my life? What if I thrive in the film department, but then I can't find a job? What if? What if? And this part of me wonders why I would even consider transferring if there are so many ways this can play out, and it could end with some not so pleasant circumstances. This part of me wants me to find some absolute that will keep me where I am, in the field I'm in, and just be done. This part of me also asks, how can you leave your sisters after one year? How can you leave your best friends behind? How can you leave the place you have called home for most of your life?
On the other end of the spectrum, there's a part of me that plays the other what if game. What if I don't even pursue film as an option? Then I have even more questions in the future because when I look back I will ask: What if I had gone to Chicago? What if I'd made it in the film industry? How could my life have been different? Where would I be now? This part of me uses the rationalization that in two more years I'll be graduating and leaving this place and these people anyway. My family will most likely be leaving before the year is up, and why shouldn't I go with them. It's only two years.
And with all of this still going back in forth in my head, I took the next step toward the possibility of going to Chicago. I completed, submitted, and paid for my application to transfer to Columbia College Chicago. I still have to submit my school forms, transcripts, etc. And there will be phones calls to Columbia's admissions and financial aid departments. And who knows what else I will have to do. I am still no where near making a decision, but at the same time, I am one step closer to making the decision.
Thank you for bearing with me while I ramble around in circles about this situation. I just need somewhere where I can put this all down for future reference. And maybe I'll get somewhere in the decision making process.
You'll definitely hear more later. :)
Bye for now,
Amber Marie
There's a rational part of me that thinks that if I do go to Chicago and it doesn't work out that I may be embarking on the biggest mistake of my life. How could I ever overcome that? What if I go to Chicago for a semester and realize film isn't what I want to do with my life? What if I thrive in the film department, but then I can't find a job? What if? What if? And this part of me wonders why I would even consider transferring if there are so many ways this can play out, and it could end with some not so pleasant circumstances. This part of me wants me to find some absolute that will keep me where I am, in the field I'm in, and just be done. This part of me also asks, how can you leave your sisters after one year? How can you leave your best friends behind? How can you leave the place you have called home for most of your life?
On the other end of the spectrum, there's a part of me that plays the other what if game. What if I don't even pursue film as an option? Then I have even more questions in the future because when I look back I will ask: What if I had gone to Chicago? What if I'd made it in the film industry? How could my life have been different? Where would I be now? This part of me uses the rationalization that in two more years I'll be graduating and leaving this place and these people anyway. My family will most likely be leaving before the year is up, and why shouldn't I go with them. It's only two years.
And with all of this still going back in forth in my head, I took the next step toward the possibility of going to Chicago. I completed, submitted, and paid for my application to transfer to Columbia College Chicago. I still have to submit my school forms, transcripts, etc. And there will be phones calls to Columbia's admissions and financial aid departments. And who knows what else I will have to do. I am still no where near making a decision, but at the same time, I am one step closer to making the decision.
Thank you for bearing with me while I ramble around in circles about this situation. I just need somewhere where I can put this all down for future reference. And maybe I'll get somewhere in the decision making process.
You'll definitely hear more later. :)
Bye for now,
Amber Marie
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Decisions, Decisions
Yup, I'm back on the life-changing decision to move 937 miles away from the place I called my home for practically my entire life, change majors to film, which is not the stablest of career choices, and changing schools and leaving friends behind.
I've already brought the topic up to my best friend, though it wasn't the first time I'd brought it up to her. Now, I have to decide how to bring it up to my DZ big sis. I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her. There are so many things that are a part of the decision, and it's hard. I mean, my dad just told me that he's looking into job openings at the Nestle plant in Indianapolis. That's an even bigger step towards my family leaving Louisiana than I imagined would happen in at this point. He hasn't even gotten a notice that he's going to be laid off. But this is huge. He's planning. Now, I feel like I have to move my plans along too. And that's a lot of pressure. I mean, I just got appointed to 3rd guard for DZ, which includes a role in initiation, but if I leave, they'll have to replace me. I had no clue when I applied for that position that I might not be back next fall. I've made so many friends, and I don't want to just leave. But, I also have to consider what's best for my family and for me. But right now, sitting in the apartment I share with my best friend and big sis, I don't really know what's best for me. I can see myself both in where I am, and in Chicago. But what I can't see is myself as a psychologist. I don't know what took that vision away, but I don't see myself being happy with that career path. If I continue on that path, I see myself asking all of the what if questions. I don't like what I see. But the film career path seems like a fantasy. I'm sure I don't even know what hardships could await me on that path.
I'm almost scared to admit it, but at this point, I think I'm taking on the mentality that I'm young and now is the time to make mistakes. So we'll see where this takes me. Ugh, being an adult sucks! Why can't my parents just tell me what to do like they did for the first eighteen years of my life!?
Oh, well. I'll be back with more, I promise.
Bye for now,
Amber Marie
I've already brought the topic up to my best friend, though it wasn't the first time I'd brought it up to her. Now, I have to decide how to bring it up to my DZ big sis. I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her. There are so many things that are a part of the decision, and it's hard. I mean, my dad just told me that he's looking into job openings at the Nestle plant in Indianapolis. That's an even bigger step towards my family leaving Louisiana than I imagined would happen in at this point. He hasn't even gotten a notice that he's going to be laid off. But this is huge. He's planning. Now, I feel like I have to move my plans along too. And that's a lot of pressure. I mean, I just got appointed to 3rd guard for DZ, which includes a role in initiation, but if I leave, they'll have to replace me. I had no clue when I applied for that position that I might not be back next fall. I've made so many friends, and I don't want to just leave. But, I also have to consider what's best for my family and for me. But right now, sitting in the apartment I share with my best friend and big sis, I don't really know what's best for me. I can see myself both in where I am, and in Chicago. But what I can't see is myself as a psychologist. I don't know what took that vision away, but I don't see myself being happy with that career path. If I continue on that path, I see myself asking all of the what if questions. I don't like what I see. But the film career path seems like a fantasy. I'm sure I don't even know what hardships could await me on that path.
I'm almost scared to admit it, but at this point, I think I'm taking on the mentality that I'm young and now is the time to make mistakes. So we'll see where this takes me. Ugh, being an adult sucks! Why can't my parents just tell me what to do like they did for the first eighteen years of my life!?
Oh, well. I'll be back with more, I promise.
Bye for now,
Amber Marie
Friday, January 13, 2012
Tennessee
Okay, so I've put it off for a week, but it's time.
Last week my family and I were in Tennessee for my uncle's funeral (my dad's younger brother). We left Wednesday evening. It took us about eight hours to get there. We got there around 12:45 am. We stayed in Nashville at my aunt's house (my dad's older sister). Well, my parents and grandparents did. My aunt took Ash and I to a hotel since all seven of us were not going to be able to sleep in her house.
Anyway, Thursday was just kind of a chill day. We didn't do much.
Friday was the funeral. We had to be in Murfreesboro (where my uncle lived and the funeral was) for 11:30 Friday morning. We didn't know exactly how to get there, so we were following my aunt. Well, one thing about my aunt, she has a lead foot. So even though we were supposed to be following her, she takes off on the highway. So, my dad, trying to catch up with her, slams on the gas. Well, not even a mile onto the highway, we pass a cop, and guess who gets pulled over. 72 in a 55. Yeah, great way to start off the day, right? So, I'm riding shotgun, and my mom is in the back seat with my sister. We pull over, and my mom is freaking out because she doesn't have her seat belt on. She pulling and pulling and it keeps locking up. Well, if you pull too hard, it locks. She was too wired to pull it slowly. Anyway, because of how the shoulder was at this part of the highway, the cop had to come up to my window. I texted my aunt as soon as we pulled over, and she called me right when the cop walks up to my window. I try to ignore it, and I actually answer it. Apparently, all my aunt heard before I managed to hang it up was the cop saying, "Metro Police." So, my aunt tells my grandma, who's riding with her, and she starts freaking out. My dad explains to the cop that we are going to his brother's funeral, and we didn't know where we were going. My mom is nearly in tears in the backseat. The cop takes my dad's license and paperwork, and goes back to his car. My dad calls my aunt and tells her what's going on. My aunt (who ended up with this small twig in her car when she had to go back home to get her phone and she'd parked too close to the trees by her house) hangs up with my dad and tells my grandma that she gets to use the twig as a switch on my dad for getting pulled over, and send my grandma into a laughing fit. The cop comes back and gives my dad a verbal warning and tells him to slow down. (Yay, no ticket!) So of course, once we get to the funeral home, the story gets told over and over and over, and never gets any less funny.
**THIS PART IS ABOUT THE FUNERAL HOME, AND IT WILL BE FULL OF SADNESS, REGRET, AND ANGER. YOU CAN SKIP THIS PART. I REALLY NEED TO VENT.**
So we had to be at the funeral home at 11:30 because we got a special family viewing before all the other people showed up. Up until this point, I'd only cried once over my uncle's death and that was when my dad told me he died. I was okay when we first walked into the chapel. I was okay when I saw my uncle in the open casket. I wasn't okay when I saw the only picture of my sister and I on the poster board that said "Kind & Caring Uncle" was a picture from his wedding when Ashley and I were 5 & 7. There we about 20 other pictures of him with his other nieces and nephews on his wife's side. But the only picture of his brother's daughter's was 11 1/2 years old. We'd sent him newer pictures, but that's the one we got. I saw it, and I lost it. I walked out of the chapel, and cried. I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to. I wanted to be selfish. I didn't want to be strong for my grandma, my dad, my aunt. I had so many questions in my head. Why is that the only picture they had of us? Why hadn't I seen him in 11 1/2 years? Why was there always an excuse from him for why we couldn't see him? I didn't take long for my mom to come and talk to me. All I wanted was to be alone, but that wasn't going to happen.
I was mad because I hadn't seen him for 11 1/2 years.
I was mad because I didn't really know him.
I was mad because I didn't really remember him.
I was mad because I am never going to get a chance to know him.
I was mad because either he chose to remember me as a 7-year-old to make himself feel better for not seeing Ashley and I since his wedding or he didn't realize that I was 19 years old, and he missed most of my life.
I was mad because he obviously spent a lot of time with his other nieces and nephews, but where was the time for us?
I am mad because I still feel all of this, and I don't know what to do about it.
And now, I'm crying again. Exactly why I waited a this long to write this. I can't do this anymore. I'm moving on.
My aunt came to talk to me. She told me that the picture wasn't put there to hurt me. It wasn't there to make me feel bad. It was there because he cared about Ash and me. It was there because it was a happy memory we shared. But I couldn't see it. Every time I looked at it throughout the visitation hours and funeral, I had to look away. That picture represented the extent of our relationship. I was his junior bridesmaid and Ashley was his flower girl, and that's as far as we made it. Maybe we got a phone call on our birthday. And every time I saw that picture all of those feelings came back.
**OKAY I'M DONE!**
Other than my breakdown, the funeral went at well as it could. There was a short grave site service and then we headed back to Nashville.
Saturday was an early morning. We left Nashville and headed home. We took nearly 12 hours to get home because we could, stopping when we wanted. And hey, we got see the end of the Saints game!
So, yeah, that was Tennessee.
-sigh-
Bye for now,
Amber Marie
Last week my family and I were in Tennessee for my uncle's funeral (my dad's younger brother). We left Wednesday evening. It took us about eight hours to get there. We got there around 12:45 am. We stayed in Nashville at my aunt's house (my dad's older sister). Well, my parents and grandparents did. My aunt took Ash and I to a hotel since all seven of us were not going to be able to sleep in her house.
Anyway, Thursday was just kind of a chill day. We didn't do much.
Friday was the funeral. We had to be in Murfreesboro (where my uncle lived and the funeral was) for 11:30 Friday morning. We didn't know exactly how to get there, so we were following my aunt. Well, one thing about my aunt, she has a lead foot. So even though we were supposed to be following her, she takes off on the highway. So, my dad, trying to catch up with her, slams on the gas. Well, not even a mile onto the highway, we pass a cop, and guess who gets pulled over. 72 in a 55. Yeah, great way to start off the day, right? So, I'm riding shotgun, and my mom is in the back seat with my sister. We pull over, and my mom is freaking out because she doesn't have her seat belt on. She pulling and pulling and it keeps locking up. Well, if you pull too hard, it locks. She was too wired to pull it slowly. Anyway, because of how the shoulder was at this part of the highway, the cop had to come up to my window. I texted my aunt as soon as we pulled over, and she called me right when the cop walks up to my window. I try to ignore it, and I actually answer it. Apparently, all my aunt heard before I managed to hang it up was the cop saying, "Metro Police." So, my aunt tells my grandma, who's riding with her, and she starts freaking out. My dad explains to the cop that we are going to his brother's funeral, and we didn't know where we were going. My mom is nearly in tears in the backseat. The cop takes my dad's license and paperwork, and goes back to his car. My dad calls my aunt and tells her what's going on. My aunt (who ended up with this small twig in her car when she had to go back home to get her phone and she'd parked too close to the trees by her house) hangs up with my dad and tells my grandma that she gets to use the twig as a switch on my dad for getting pulled over, and send my grandma into a laughing fit. The cop comes back and gives my dad a verbal warning and tells him to slow down. (Yay, no ticket!) So of course, once we get to the funeral home, the story gets told over and over and over, and never gets any less funny.
**THIS PART IS ABOUT THE FUNERAL HOME, AND IT WILL BE FULL OF SADNESS, REGRET, AND ANGER. YOU CAN SKIP THIS PART. I REALLY NEED TO VENT.**
So we had to be at the funeral home at 11:30 because we got a special family viewing before all the other people showed up. Up until this point, I'd only cried once over my uncle's death and that was when my dad told me he died. I was okay when we first walked into the chapel. I was okay when I saw my uncle in the open casket. I wasn't okay when I saw the only picture of my sister and I on the poster board that said "Kind & Caring Uncle" was a picture from his wedding when Ashley and I were 5 & 7. There we about 20 other pictures of him with his other nieces and nephews on his wife's side. But the only picture of his brother's daughter's was 11 1/2 years old. We'd sent him newer pictures, but that's the one we got. I saw it, and I lost it. I walked out of the chapel, and cried. I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to. I wanted to be selfish. I didn't want to be strong for my grandma, my dad, my aunt. I had so many questions in my head. Why is that the only picture they had of us? Why hadn't I seen him in 11 1/2 years? Why was there always an excuse from him for why we couldn't see him? I didn't take long for my mom to come and talk to me. All I wanted was to be alone, but that wasn't going to happen.
I was mad because I hadn't seen him for 11 1/2 years.
I was mad because I didn't really know him.
I was mad because I didn't really remember him.
I was mad because I am never going to get a chance to know him.
I was mad because either he chose to remember me as a 7-year-old to make himself feel better for not seeing Ashley and I since his wedding or he didn't realize that I was 19 years old, and he missed most of my life.
I was mad because he obviously spent a lot of time with his other nieces and nephews, but where was the time for us?
I am mad because I still feel all of this, and I don't know what to do about it.
And now, I'm crying again. Exactly why I waited a this long to write this. I can't do this anymore. I'm moving on.
My aunt came to talk to me. She told me that the picture wasn't put there to hurt me. It wasn't there to make me feel bad. It was there because he cared about Ash and me. It was there because it was a happy memory we shared. But I couldn't see it. Every time I looked at it throughout the visitation hours and funeral, I had to look away. That picture represented the extent of our relationship. I was his junior bridesmaid and Ashley was his flower girl, and that's as far as we made it. Maybe we got a phone call on our birthday. And every time I saw that picture all of those feelings came back.
**OKAY I'M DONE!**
Other than my breakdown, the funeral went at well as it could. There was a short grave site service and then we headed back to Nashville.
Saturday was an early morning. We left Nashville and headed home. We took nearly 12 hours to get home because we could, stopping when we wanted. And hey, we got see the end of the Saints game!
So, yeah, that was Tennessee.
-sigh-
Bye for now,
Amber Marie
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Long week ahead...
My dad's younger brother died about 24 hours ago. He had cystic fibrosis, and he'd been really sick lately. At least he went peacefully in his sleep. He was 34. His funeral is on Friday in near Nashville. So Wednesday evening, after my mom gets off of work at around 4:30, we will be heading to Tennessee. We'll stay at my dad's older sister's apartment. We'll be there until Saturday. We have a lot of things to do tomorrow, but I can't seem to want to fall asleep. This is not the greatest way to start a new year. I sure hope 2012 doesn't follow in the footsteps of this first week.
So about my uncle...first of all I haven't seen him since his wedding which was in May of 2000. Yeah, 2000. 11 1/2 years ago. There's a lot of unsettled family drama that I know basically nothing about and probably shouldn't post even if I did, which is part of the reason I haven't seen him since I was 8. (This family drama is going to add to this long week...) So when I cried this morning, I found myself wondering why. I came to the conclusion, over the course of today, that I cried because I knew my family was hurting, not because I was hurt. Honestly, and it's sad to admit, I didn't know the man. I haven't seen him since I was 8, and it's been hit and miss communication on birthdays. I'm pretty sure he missed at least half over the past 11 years. And that really doesn't bother me. And that's what bothers me. I don't really feel a loss right now. I cried this morning because my aunt had to drive from Nashville to Indianapolis to tell her parents that their son was dead. I cried because my grandma and my grandpa had to hear that their son died before they did. I know my grandma and I knew that this news would literally kill her inside. There was so much tension and anger on both sides of that relationship, and now he's gone, and she can't try to fix it anymore. There's a but more that I won't say here about my grandpa and his hurt, but I knew that this would affect him in a different, yet equally painful way. I know that I will probably be hit with a range of emotions when Friday comes, but I have a feeling it'll be me hurting because people that I love, who actually knew him, are hurting, and not because I am hurting over the loss. I feel bad for not feeling like I lost a family member, but it almost feels like he wasn't a part of my family because he basically hasn't been a part of my life since I was 8.
I don't know where this leaves me. Yes, I lost an uncle. Yes, I am sad. Yes, it's a stressful time. But, I just feel like I should be a bit more sad, or upset, and I'm just not.
Anyway, you can expect more about this week as it occurs, or at the very least a post on Saturday or Sunday summarizing the week. I'm afraid my blog won't be nearly as optimistic as my last post. Sorry, just not a very optimistic week.
Love,
Amber Marie
So about my uncle...first of all I haven't seen him since his wedding which was in May of 2000. Yeah, 2000. 11 1/2 years ago. There's a lot of unsettled family drama that I know basically nothing about and probably shouldn't post even if I did, which is part of the reason I haven't seen him since I was 8. (This family drama is going to add to this long week...) So when I cried this morning, I found myself wondering why. I came to the conclusion, over the course of today, that I cried because I knew my family was hurting, not because I was hurt. Honestly, and it's sad to admit, I didn't know the man. I haven't seen him since I was 8, and it's been hit and miss communication on birthdays. I'm pretty sure he missed at least half over the past 11 years. And that really doesn't bother me. And that's what bothers me. I don't really feel a loss right now. I cried this morning because my aunt had to drive from Nashville to Indianapolis to tell her parents that their son was dead. I cried because my grandma and my grandpa had to hear that their son died before they did. I know my grandma and I knew that this news would literally kill her inside. There was so much tension and anger on both sides of that relationship, and now he's gone, and she can't try to fix it anymore. There's a but more that I won't say here about my grandpa and his hurt, but I knew that this would affect him in a different, yet equally painful way. I know that I will probably be hit with a range of emotions when Friday comes, but I have a feeling it'll be me hurting because people that I love, who actually knew him, are hurting, and not because I am hurting over the loss. I feel bad for not feeling like I lost a family member, but it almost feels like he wasn't a part of my family because he basically hasn't been a part of my life since I was 8.
I don't know where this leaves me. Yes, I lost an uncle. Yes, I am sad. Yes, it's a stressful time. But, I just feel like I should be a bit more sad, or upset, and I'm just not.
Anyway, you can expect more about this week as it occurs, or at the very least a post on Saturday or Sunday summarizing the week. I'm afraid my blog won't be nearly as optimistic as my last post. Sorry, just not a very optimistic week.
Love,
Amber Marie
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