I'm back! And it has been a while...

     So I have decided to revamp my blog after abandoning it for over a year. I don't want to make any promises about keeping it updated, but I would really like to.

     I am trying to set up some order in my life so that I have time for the things I want to do, as well as the things that I have to do. One thing that I think will help me is having time to write about what's going on in my life. And this time I don't want it to be the mundane, mindless recitation of that day's activities. I want it to be something deeper and more meaningful for myself. One of the things that held me back before was my desire to keep up a facade for those that see my blog. I still wasn't comfortable with myself and my viewpoints to put them out there for those that I thought didn't know how I felt. I have come to realize that my friends aren't blind. I didn't have to explicitly say things; my actions were noticed. I say all of that to say, I will talk probably talk about controversial topics. This is a part of me being real. I have been struggling with things, and I think that I am at a place in my life where I can talk about things that we may not see eye-to-eye on, and my friends will respect where I'm coming from, as I do the same. And my hope is that there will be growth and understanding that comes out of this.

     I know that I have had one or two pretty deep posts on here before, but there have been a couple that I've typed up and published in the middle of the night only to take them down before anyone read them. And there have been a couple that I typed up only to delete before posting. I don't want to do that anymore. Granted there are things that are better kept for the diary beside my bed, I want to put myself out there (maybe only for one person, *coughs* Heather...) and maybe create a dialogue. And I'm not saying that every single post will be controversial. I want to get in to the habit of reading my Bible. I have the desire to read it for myself, so that I might receive my own convictions and not those that another has decided for me. I'll be up front right now, I have been in what I have been calling a 'crisis of faith.' I am at a point in my life where I feel the need to question everything I've been taught in church because, at some point, I just started regurgitating what I was hearing without understanding what I was talking about. And that scared me.

     So, that's what you have to look forward to: potentially controversial topics, my Bible readings, and my 'crisis of faith.' I plan on a redesign of my blog as soon as this is published, and I've already updated my profile and picture.

<3 Amber Marie