Yup, I'm back on the life-changing decision to move 937 miles away from the place I called my home for practically my entire life, change majors to film, which is not the stablest of career choices, and changing schools and leaving friends behind.
I've already brought the topic up to my best friend, though it wasn't the first time I'd brought it up to her. Now, I have to decide how to bring it up to my DZ big sis. I don't want her to think I'm abandoning her. There are so many things that are a part of the decision, and it's hard. I mean, my dad just told me that he's looking into job openings at the Nestle plant in Indianapolis. That's an even bigger step towards my family leaving Louisiana than I imagined would happen in at this point. He hasn't even gotten a notice that he's going to be laid off. But this is huge. He's planning. Now, I feel like I have to move my plans along too. And that's a lot of pressure. I mean, I just got appointed to 3rd guard for DZ, which includes a role in initiation, but if I leave, they'll have to replace me. I had no clue when I applied for that position that I might not be back next fall. I've made so many friends, and I don't want to just leave. But, I also have to consider what's best for my family and for me. But right now, sitting in the apartment I share with my best friend and big sis, I don't really know what's best for me. I can see myself both in where I am, and in Chicago. But what I can't see is myself as a psychologist. I don't know what took that vision away, but I don't see myself being happy with that career path. If I continue on that path, I see myself asking all of the what if questions. I don't like what I see. But the film career path seems like a fantasy. I'm sure I don't even know what hardships could await me on that path.
I'm almost scared to admit it, but at this point, I think I'm taking on the mentality that I'm young and now is the time to make mistakes. So we'll see where this takes me. Ugh, being an adult sucks! Why can't my parents just tell me what to do like they did for the first eighteen years of my life!?
Oh, well. I'll be back with more, I promise.
Bye for now,
Amber Marie
I think that if it's the right descision, God will provide all the money you need and then some. (even though I'll miss you all terribly if you leave ;)
ReplyDelete