Okay, so I've put it off for a week, but it's time.
Last week my family and I were in Tennessee for my uncle's funeral (my dad's younger brother). We left Wednesday evening. It took us about eight hours to get there. We got there around 12:45 am. We stayed in Nashville at my aunt's house (my dad's older sister). Well, my parents and grandparents did. My aunt took Ash and I to a hotel since all seven of us were not going to be able to sleep in her house.
Anyway, Thursday was just kind of a chill day. We didn't do much.
Friday was the funeral. We had to be in Murfreesboro (where my uncle lived and the funeral was) for 11:30 Friday morning. We didn't know exactly how to get there, so we were following my aunt. Well, one thing about my aunt, she has a lead foot. So even though we were supposed to be following her, she takes off on the highway. So, my dad, trying to catch up with her, slams on the gas. Well, not even a mile onto the highway, we pass a cop, and guess who gets pulled over. 72 in a 55. Yeah, great way to start off the day, right? So, I'm riding shotgun, and my mom is in the back seat with my sister. We pull over, and my mom is freaking out because she doesn't have her seat belt on. She pulling and pulling and it keeps locking up. Well, if you pull too hard, it locks. She was too wired to pull it slowly. Anyway, because of how the shoulder was at this part of the highway, the cop had to come up to my window. I texted my aunt as soon as we pulled over, and she called me right when the cop walks up to my window. I try to ignore it, and I actually answer it. Apparently, all my aunt heard before I managed to hang it up was the cop saying, "Metro Police." So, my aunt tells my grandma, who's riding with her, and she starts freaking out. My dad explains to the cop that we are going to his brother's funeral, and we didn't know where we were going. My mom is nearly in tears in the backseat. The cop takes my dad's license and paperwork, and goes back to his car. My dad calls my aunt and tells her what's going on. My aunt (who ended up with this small twig in her car when she had to go back home to get her phone and she'd parked too close to the trees by her house) hangs up with my dad and tells my grandma that she gets to use the twig as a switch on my dad for getting pulled over, and send my grandma into a laughing fit. The cop comes back and gives my dad a verbal warning and tells him to slow down. (Yay, no ticket!) So of course, once we get to the funeral home, the story gets told over and over and over, and never gets any less funny.
**THIS PART IS ABOUT THE FUNERAL HOME, AND IT WILL BE FULL OF SADNESS, REGRET, AND ANGER. YOU CAN SKIP THIS PART. I REALLY NEED TO VENT.**
So we had to be at the funeral home at 11:30 because we got a special family viewing before all the other people showed up. Up until this point, I'd only cried once over my uncle's death and that was when my dad told me he died. I was okay when we first walked into the chapel. I was okay when I saw my uncle in the open casket. I wasn't okay when I saw the only picture of my sister and I on the poster board that said "Kind & Caring Uncle" was a picture from his wedding when Ashley and I were 5 & 7. There we about 20 other pictures of him with his other nieces and nephews on his wife's side. But the only picture of his brother's daughter's was 11 1/2 years old. We'd sent him newer pictures, but that's the one we got. I saw it, and I lost it. I walked out of the chapel, and cried. I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to. I wanted to be selfish. I didn't want to be strong for my grandma, my dad, my aunt. I had so many questions in my head. Why is that the only picture they had of us? Why hadn't I seen him in 11 1/2 years? Why was there always an excuse from him for why we couldn't see him? I didn't take long for my mom to come and talk to me. All I wanted was to be alone, but that wasn't going to happen.
I was mad because I hadn't seen him for 11 1/2 years.
I was mad because I didn't really know him.
I was mad because I didn't really remember him.
I was mad because I am never going to get a chance to know him.
I was mad because either he chose to remember me as a 7-year-old to make himself feel better for not seeing Ashley and I since his wedding or he didn't realize that I was 19 years old, and he missed most of my life.
I was mad because he obviously spent a lot of time with his other nieces and nephews, but where was the time for us?
I am mad because I still feel all of this, and I don't know what to do about it.
And now, I'm crying again. Exactly why I waited a this long to write this. I can't do this anymore. I'm moving on.
My aunt came to talk to me. She told me that the picture wasn't put there to hurt me. It wasn't there to make me feel bad. It was there because he cared about Ash and me. It was there because it was a happy memory we shared. But I couldn't see it. Every time I looked at it throughout the visitation hours and funeral, I had to look away. That picture represented the extent of our relationship. I was his junior bridesmaid and Ashley was his flower girl, and that's as far as we made it. Maybe we got a phone call on our birthday. And every time I saw that picture all of those feelings came back.
**OKAY I'M DONE!**
Other than my breakdown, the funeral went at well as it could. There was a short grave site service and then we headed back to Nashville.
Saturday was an early morning. We left Nashville and headed home. We took nearly 12 hours to get home because we could, stopping when we wanted. And hey, we got see the end of the Saints game!
So, yeah, that was Tennessee.
-sigh-
Bye for now,
Amber Marie
Friday, January 13, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Long week ahead...
My dad's younger brother died about 24 hours ago. He had cystic fibrosis, and he'd been really sick lately. At least he went peacefully in his sleep. He was 34. His funeral is on Friday in near Nashville. So Wednesday evening, after my mom gets off of work at around 4:30, we will be heading to Tennessee. We'll stay at my dad's older sister's apartment. We'll be there until Saturday. We have a lot of things to do tomorrow, but I can't seem to want to fall asleep. This is not the greatest way to start a new year. I sure hope 2012 doesn't follow in the footsteps of this first week.
So about my uncle...first of all I haven't seen him since his wedding which was in May of 2000. Yeah, 2000. 11 1/2 years ago. There's a lot of unsettled family drama that I know basically nothing about and probably shouldn't post even if I did, which is part of the reason I haven't seen him since I was 8. (This family drama is going to add to this long week...) So when I cried this morning, I found myself wondering why. I came to the conclusion, over the course of today, that I cried because I knew my family was hurting, not because I was hurt. Honestly, and it's sad to admit, I didn't know the man. I haven't seen him since I was 8, and it's been hit and miss communication on birthdays. I'm pretty sure he missed at least half over the past 11 years. And that really doesn't bother me. And that's what bothers me. I don't really feel a loss right now. I cried this morning because my aunt had to drive from Nashville to Indianapolis to tell her parents that their son was dead. I cried because my grandma and my grandpa had to hear that their son died before they did. I know my grandma and I knew that this news would literally kill her inside. There was so much tension and anger on both sides of that relationship, and now he's gone, and she can't try to fix it anymore. There's a but more that I won't say here about my grandpa and his hurt, but I knew that this would affect him in a different, yet equally painful way. I know that I will probably be hit with a range of emotions when Friday comes, but I have a feeling it'll be me hurting because people that I love, who actually knew him, are hurting, and not because I am hurting over the loss. I feel bad for not feeling like I lost a family member, but it almost feels like he wasn't a part of my family because he basically hasn't been a part of my life since I was 8.
I don't know where this leaves me. Yes, I lost an uncle. Yes, I am sad. Yes, it's a stressful time. But, I just feel like I should be a bit more sad, or upset, and I'm just not.
Anyway, you can expect more about this week as it occurs, or at the very least a post on Saturday or Sunday summarizing the week. I'm afraid my blog won't be nearly as optimistic as my last post. Sorry, just not a very optimistic week.
Love,
Amber Marie
So about my uncle...first of all I haven't seen him since his wedding which was in May of 2000. Yeah, 2000. 11 1/2 years ago. There's a lot of unsettled family drama that I know basically nothing about and probably shouldn't post even if I did, which is part of the reason I haven't seen him since I was 8. (This family drama is going to add to this long week...) So when I cried this morning, I found myself wondering why. I came to the conclusion, over the course of today, that I cried because I knew my family was hurting, not because I was hurt. Honestly, and it's sad to admit, I didn't know the man. I haven't seen him since I was 8, and it's been hit and miss communication on birthdays. I'm pretty sure he missed at least half over the past 11 years. And that really doesn't bother me. And that's what bothers me. I don't really feel a loss right now. I cried this morning because my aunt had to drive from Nashville to Indianapolis to tell her parents that their son was dead. I cried because my grandma and my grandpa had to hear that their son died before they did. I know my grandma and I knew that this news would literally kill her inside. There was so much tension and anger on both sides of that relationship, and now he's gone, and she can't try to fix it anymore. There's a but more that I won't say here about my grandpa and his hurt, but I knew that this would affect him in a different, yet equally painful way. I know that I will probably be hit with a range of emotions when Friday comes, but I have a feeling it'll be me hurting because people that I love, who actually knew him, are hurting, and not because I am hurting over the loss. I feel bad for not feeling like I lost a family member, but it almost feels like he wasn't a part of my family because he basically hasn't been a part of my life since I was 8.
I don't know where this leaves me. Yes, I lost an uncle. Yes, I am sad. Yes, it's a stressful time. But, I just feel like I should be a bit more sad, or upset, and I'm just not.
Anyway, you can expect more about this week as it occurs, or at the very least a post on Saturday or Sunday summarizing the week. I'm afraid my blog won't be nearly as optimistic as my last post. Sorry, just not a very optimistic week.
Love,
Amber Marie
Thursday, December 29, 2011
A dream with a chance of becoming reality...
*** This is your warning! This is a REALLY long entry! I really hope you read the whole thing, but if you don't have time at this moment to read it, wait until you have the time. You have been warned! :) ***
Sounds deep, right? Especially since this is my first post since August. I apologize, by the way. The point of this was to keep you updated with my busy life, but as it turned out, my busy life was too busy to squeeze in time for me to keep you updated. Kinda ironic...but again sorry. I'm going to try to do better in the new year.
Okay, now the true meaning of the title of this post, I have recently been considering something that would literally change my life, forever. It involves transferring colleges, changing majors, and moving out of the state of Louisiana.
So, if you know me then you probably know at least a little bit about what I'm about to say, but for the readers (who I am sure are imaginary) that don't know me, I'm going to give you a little bit of background.
During my junior and senior year of high school, I was a typical teenage girl who had absolutely no clue what she wanted to do with her life, thus she had no clue what to major in once she got to college. And as anyone who has been or is around that age, the first question people ask you after you say you're going to college is, "What is your major?" And everyone just expects you to know. Well, being the typical teen that I was, I had thrown around a variety of things. I had thought about being a teacher, a writer, a journalist, a photographer, a psychologist, a nurse, a pharmacist, and even a lawyer. Because of my parents involvement in the media department at our church, I was exposed to the directing, producing, recording, and editing of a television show beginning at age 8. During my junior and senior years in high school, I got really involved in the department, and I decided I wanted to be a director and producer and I had my sights set on Hollywood, even though there were those who thought it was too big of a dream. However, I had a problem. I fell in love with a certain college campus and the closest they had to a film studies department was broadcast journalism. At the time, I felt that it was close enough to get me to where I want to be.
I was completely on board with my major for my first semester and a half of college. In my second semester, around March of this year, I had a change of heart. I was taking Psych 101, and I fell in love with another major, and it was on my list of majors to consider when I first applied. I wasn't at all interested in the journalism aspect of the broadcast curriculum, so after about a week and a half of thinking and brief mentions to my parents and friends and one quick walk to the admin building on campus, I changed my major to psychology with a minor in addictive behaviors.
Now, another semester and half later, I am beginning to wonder if perhaps my decision to change my major was a bit too hasty. I have to admit that it is partly because I am helping my sister get her college applications in order, and her decision to pursue theatre design has gotten me thinking that maybe I gave up on my dream of being a director and producer a bit too quickly.
Before I continue with the school that I'm looking into and where it is and all that's involved, I want to address the fact that maybe I just get bored easily, or that I'm only considering this decision because I'm jealous of my sister and her opportunities, or that I'm just not a stable person.
1) I know that I get bored easily. I've had like 7 cell phones in 5 years. I constantly want to rearrange my room. I jump from fad book series to fad book series (though I have to admit, I have gotten rather attached to a few new ones lately and I don't see me letting go any time soon.).
2) Maybe I am a tad bit jealous of my sister's realization of her dream. But, as I said, I made the decision to "give up" on my dream in a week and a half. I think that gives me the right to reconsider such a hasty decision. I think of my sister as an inspiration to not give up on my dream, even if it means adding another year of schooling to achieve it. And,
3) If you know me, then you know I am not normal, sane, or stable, but I know what I'm doing (for the most part) and I have a decent head on my shoulders. :)
Okay, so while helping my sister research her choices for colleges that offer a theatre design major, my mom and I came across a school. (I don't want to reveal the school yet because I want to tell the story first. If I start talking about the school, I'll never finish the story.) We found a brochure for it when we were attending a production that my sister worked on. So we brought it home, and I went to their website, as I did with any other college my sister considered, so I could see if they offered theatre design. They did, and Ash liked the location (though not as much as she does now, after the research we did over the past couple of nights). And again, as I did with the other colleges, I looked at what other programs they offered. I noticed that they had a film & video major with various concentrations. I didn't dig too deep into it at the time.
Now, my sister is going to this conference in Chicago in February. There are a whole bunch of colleges' theatre departments there so the prospective students can audition all in one place to make it easier for everyone. This particular school is one she can audition for at the conference, so thus it was added to her final college list, which has 5 other schools on it, and she sent in her application a week ago.
Since my winter break started 3 weeks ago, I've been thinking that after I graduate with my bachelor's in psychology in 2014, I can go to film school. So I started looking into the school for the fall of 2014 to get my 2nd bachelor's in film studies. Then about a week ago, my grandma, my dad's mom, called. Both she and my grandpa, who live in Indiana, have many various health issues and my grandpa is getting worse. My parents always talked about moving in with my grandparents after one died because we know that neither can handle living alone after the other passes. I know this is depressing and kinda morbid, but these are things we've had to think about after various health scares from my grandma and my grandpa. So now that my grandparents' health is on the decline, I'm already partly on my own in college, my sister is on her way out to college herself, and the ever looming closing of the shipyard my dad works at, my parents are seriously considering moving when he gets laid off. Serious to that point that my dad talked to my grandma about it. (All the times we've talked about moving, semi-serious or not, that has never happened before.)
So, this got me thinking. I know my mom, and even though she is seriously considering moving, she does not want to leave me in the state of Louisiana alone. She would be nearly 900 miles away, and even though I'm an adult, she would be constantly worried because of the distance. And I don't blame her. My family is not from down here. I may have lived here since I was 2, but my biological family would be living in another part of the country if my parents did move. So, I've been trying to come up with different solutions.
And now I've come full circle to the dream...
I know this is a dream, but as the title says, it has a chance at reality.
Since I've been thinking of my parents moving, I've asked the question, "Why don't I take this as my chance to move too?" The college that I am still not revealing as of yet, is a lot closer to Indiana than Louisiana. It's somewhere that my sister is seriously considering, and everyone has concerns (sorry, Ash) about how well my sister can adjust to college life. So if I'm there, not necessarily in the same room (though we've talked about that too), but at the very least the same school, she might have a better chance a success. She's not even applying to my current school. The school has my dream major with concentrations in both directing and producing. I can even dabble in acting, if I want.
Sounds like I have it all worked out, right? Well, as much as I want to have it worked out, I don't. As many reasons as there are for me to transfer (more to be named after I reveal the school), there are just as many to keep me where I am now. I love my school. I just joined a sorority and Delta Zeta isn't at the other school, which would mean going alumnae after only one year. I made a lot of new friends that I don't want to ditch after one or two years. There are a select few it would be VERY hard to leave, and I wouldn't even know how to break the news to them. I'd almost feel like a part of me would be missing. I've lived in Louisiana nearly all of my life. I do actually still have friends at home too. ;)
Have I built up the drama enough??
Okay, so I've put it off long enough. I've been going on and on about this school, and have managed to tell you pretty much he whole story before telling you the name of the school and where it is. I've been talking about Columbia College Chicago in well, Chicago.
Over the past couple of days, I've been looking into the housing options that my sister has at the various schools she has and will apply to. And last night I spent quite a bit of time on Columbia's website. It took some digging to find the link to the housing site for one, and I actually looked into their film & video department. And guess what, I fell in love with everything about Columbia. The location, the school, the program, the opportunities.
The Location:
Hello, it's Chicago! Big city. Lots of things to do, lots of things to see, lots of people to meet. The school itself is literally a half a mile from Lake Michigan and it's across the street from a huge park. (Put "Columbia College, South Michigan Avenue, Chicago, IL" into Google Maps to see for yourself.) Something I thought was cool was that while I would live in Columbia College's housing, it's not on campus. Normally, I wouldn't like that, but the walk is no different than the walk I have now, which is amazing. It's about 5-7 minutes from the housing to Columbia's campus. Columbia offers 4 different housing options 731 S. Plymouth Court, The University Center, The Dwight, and The Buckingham. (I like looking at the outsides of the buildings and what's around them too, so type "731 S. Plymouth Court, Chicago, IL", "525 S. State Street, Chicago, IL", "642 S. Clark, Chicago, IL", and "59 East Van Buren, Chicago, IL" into Google Maps for street views.) All of them are unique and amazing in their own way, but my sister and I definitely like The Dwight and University Center the best. Both are about 7 minutes from campus, and they have breathtaking views. I don't know about you, but seeing the tall buildings of a city from my window is a dream of mine. If you want to see what I'm talking about, follow the links to the different buildings. Just scroll through the pictures from the different buildings. All of the housing options are about a mile from the lake and a half a mile from the park.
The School & the Program:
As much as I want to put it into my own words I think the school's About Columbia page says it all. (Please read/skim it.) Columbia has dozens of notable alumni from the film & video department alone that have worked on everything from Blood Diamond to Star Wars: The Clone Wars to Avatar to Lost to True Blood as animators, cinematographers, and producers, and the president of HBO Films is an alumni. Through the system of alumni, there are countless connections to the film industry, which leads me to:
The Opportunities:
Semester in LA Program (SiLA): "...five intensive weeks during which students maintain full-time Columbia status while acquiring direct experience in what it takes to make a mark in the world’s most competitive film production environment...Classes are held on the historic Raleigh Studios lot, which is Hollywood's oldest and longest continually-operated studio.
The Production Fund: "...a resource dedicated to assisting advanced film and video projects that are being produced by undergraduate and graduate students. Annually, the Department awards as much as $100,000 to successful applicants."
The Big Screen: "Our annual student film festival...has become one of the most anticipated film events in Chicago. This juried competition of student produced films and videos celebrates the creative diversity and incredible talent in the department, while also offering cash awards and trophies for Best of the Fest, Audience Award, Best Script, and Best Treatment."
And there is so much more!
Now, I know I have to get back to reality. This move, should it happen, would be incredibly expensive. Going to school at Columbia is about twice as much as what I'm paying now. That's a lot more student loans to pay after I graduate. Plus, I'd have to find out if a transfer within the company I work for is even an option. If not, I'd need a job. Though, I don't think that would be too hard, but you never know. So there are still a great many things to consider and work out, but I'm in love with this dream. And for now I want to dream. And to just know that there is a chance that I might be able to live this dream is enough for me. And who knows, since this wouldn't happen for another 8 months, I may have a new dream by then. :)
Okay, I'm getting a little theatrical now. I'll end this 2500 word entry here. I apologize for the length. There are only so many times that I can mull over all of this information before it overwhelms my brain and I have to get it out. Thanks for being patient and reading this and hopefully following the links. :)
Much love,
AmberMarie
Sounds deep, right? Especially since this is my first post since August. I apologize, by the way. The point of this was to keep you updated with my busy life, but as it turned out, my busy life was too busy to squeeze in time for me to keep you updated. Kinda ironic...but again sorry. I'm going to try to do better in the new year.
Okay, now the true meaning of the title of this post, I have recently been considering something that would literally change my life, forever. It involves transferring colleges, changing majors, and moving out of the state of Louisiana.
So, if you know me then you probably know at least a little bit about what I'm about to say, but for the readers (who I am sure are imaginary) that don't know me, I'm going to give you a little bit of background.
During my junior and senior year of high school, I was a typical teenage girl who had absolutely no clue what she wanted to do with her life, thus she had no clue what to major in once she got to college. And as anyone who has been or is around that age, the first question people ask you after you say you're going to college is, "What is your major?" And everyone just expects you to know. Well, being the typical teen that I was, I had thrown around a variety of things. I had thought about being a teacher, a writer, a journalist, a photographer, a psychologist, a nurse, a pharmacist, and even a lawyer. Because of my parents involvement in the media department at our church, I was exposed to the directing, producing, recording, and editing of a television show beginning at age 8. During my junior and senior years in high school, I got really involved in the department, and I decided I wanted to be a director and producer and I had my sights set on Hollywood, even though there were those who thought it was too big of a dream. However, I had a problem. I fell in love with a certain college campus and the closest they had to a film studies department was broadcast journalism. At the time, I felt that it was close enough to get me to where I want to be.
I was completely on board with my major for my first semester and a half of college. In my second semester, around March of this year, I had a change of heart. I was taking Psych 101, and I fell in love with another major, and it was on my list of majors to consider when I first applied. I wasn't at all interested in the journalism aspect of the broadcast curriculum, so after about a week and a half of thinking and brief mentions to my parents and friends and one quick walk to the admin building on campus, I changed my major to psychology with a minor in addictive behaviors.
Now, another semester and half later, I am beginning to wonder if perhaps my decision to change my major was a bit too hasty. I have to admit that it is partly because I am helping my sister get her college applications in order, and her decision to pursue theatre design has gotten me thinking that maybe I gave up on my dream of being a director and producer a bit too quickly.
Before I continue with the school that I'm looking into and where it is and all that's involved, I want to address the fact that maybe I just get bored easily, or that I'm only considering this decision because I'm jealous of my sister and her opportunities, or that I'm just not a stable person.
1) I know that I get bored easily. I've had like 7 cell phones in 5 years. I constantly want to rearrange my room. I jump from fad book series to fad book series (though I have to admit, I have gotten rather attached to a few new ones lately and I don't see me letting go any time soon.).
2) Maybe I am a tad bit jealous of my sister's realization of her dream. But, as I said, I made the decision to "give up" on my dream in a week and a half. I think that gives me the right to reconsider such a hasty decision. I think of my sister as an inspiration to not give up on my dream, even if it means adding another year of schooling to achieve it. And,
3) If you know me, then you know I am not normal, sane, or stable, but I know what I'm doing (for the most part) and I have a decent head on my shoulders. :)
Okay, so while helping my sister research her choices for colleges that offer a theatre design major, my mom and I came across a school. (I don't want to reveal the school yet because I want to tell the story first. If I start talking about the school, I'll never finish the story.) We found a brochure for it when we were attending a production that my sister worked on. So we brought it home, and I went to their website, as I did with any other college my sister considered, so I could see if they offered theatre design. They did, and Ash liked the location (though not as much as she does now, after the research we did over the past couple of nights). And again, as I did with the other colleges, I looked at what other programs they offered. I noticed that they had a film & video major with various concentrations. I didn't dig too deep into it at the time.
Now, my sister is going to this conference in Chicago in February. There are a whole bunch of colleges' theatre departments there so the prospective students can audition all in one place to make it easier for everyone. This particular school is one she can audition for at the conference, so thus it was added to her final college list, which has 5 other schools on it, and she sent in her application a week ago.
Since my winter break started 3 weeks ago, I've been thinking that after I graduate with my bachelor's in psychology in 2014, I can go to film school. So I started looking into the school for the fall of 2014 to get my 2nd bachelor's in film studies. Then about a week ago, my grandma, my dad's mom, called. Both she and my grandpa, who live in Indiana, have many various health issues and my grandpa is getting worse. My parents always talked about moving in with my grandparents after one died because we know that neither can handle living alone after the other passes. I know this is depressing and kinda morbid, but these are things we've had to think about after various health scares from my grandma and my grandpa. So now that my grandparents' health is on the decline, I'm already partly on my own in college, my sister is on her way out to college herself, and the ever looming closing of the shipyard my dad works at, my parents are seriously considering moving when he gets laid off. Serious to that point that my dad talked to my grandma about it. (All the times we've talked about moving, semi-serious or not, that has never happened before.)
So, this got me thinking. I know my mom, and even though she is seriously considering moving, she does not want to leave me in the state of Louisiana alone. She would be nearly 900 miles away, and even though I'm an adult, she would be constantly worried because of the distance. And I don't blame her. My family is not from down here. I may have lived here since I was 2, but my biological family would be living in another part of the country if my parents did move. So, I've been trying to come up with different solutions.
And now I've come full circle to the dream...
I know this is a dream, but as the title says, it has a chance at reality.
Since I've been thinking of my parents moving, I've asked the question, "Why don't I take this as my chance to move too?" The college that I am still not revealing as of yet, is a lot closer to Indiana than Louisiana. It's somewhere that my sister is seriously considering, and everyone has concerns (sorry, Ash) about how well my sister can adjust to college life. So if I'm there, not necessarily in the same room (though we've talked about that too), but at the very least the same school, she might have a better chance a success. She's not even applying to my current school. The school has my dream major with concentrations in both directing and producing. I can even dabble in acting, if I want.
Sounds like I have it all worked out, right? Well, as much as I want to have it worked out, I don't. As many reasons as there are for me to transfer (more to be named after I reveal the school), there are just as many to keep me where I am now. I love my school. I just joined a sorority and Delta Zeta isn't at the other school, which would mean going alumnae after only one year. I made a lot of new friends that I don't want to ditch after one or two years. There are a select few it would be VERY hard to leave, and I wouldn't even know how to break the news to them. I'd almost feel like a part of me would be missing. I've lived in Louisiana nearly all of my life. I do actually still have friends at home too. ;)
Have I built up the drama enough??
Okay, so I've put it off long enough. I've been going on and on about this school, and have managed to tell you pretty much he whole story before telling you the name of the school and where it is. I've been talking about Columbia College Chicago in well, Chicago.
Over the past couple of days, I've been looking into the housing options that my sister has at the various schools she has and will apply to. And last night I spent quite a bit of time on Columbia's website. It took some digging to find the link to the housing site for one, and I actually looked into their film & video department. And guess what, I fell in love with everything about Columbia. The location, the school, the program, the opportunities.
The Location:
Hello, it's Chicago! Big city. Lots of things to do, lots of things to see, lots of people to meet. The school itself is literally a half a mile from Lake Michigan and it's across the street from a huge park. (Put "Columbia College, South Michigan Avenue, Chicago, IL" into Google Maps to see for yourself.) Something I thought was cool was that while I would live in Columbia College's housing, it's not on campus. Normally, I wouldn't like that, but the walk is no different than the walk I have now, which is amazing. It's about 5-7 minutes from the housing to Columbia's campus. Columbia offers 4 different housing options 731 S. Plymouth Court, The University Center, The Dwight, and The Buckingham. (I like looking at the outsides of the buildings and what's around them too, so type "731 S. Plymouth Court, Chicago, IL", "525 S. State Street, Chicago, IL", "642 S. Clark, Chicago, IL", and "59 East Van Buren, Chicago, IL" into Google Maps for street views.) All of them are unique and amazing in their own way, but my sister and I definitely like The Dwight and University Center the best. Both are about 7 minutes from campus, and they have breathtaking views. I don't know about you, but seeing the tall buildings of a city from my window is a dream of mine. If you want to see what I'm talking about, follow the links to the different buildings. Just scroll through the pictures from the different buildings. All of the housing options are about a mile from the lake and a half a mile from the park.
The School & the Program:
As much as I want to put it into my own words I think the school's About Columbia page says it all. (Please read/skim it.) Columbia has dozens of notable alumni from the film & video department alone that have worked on everything from Blood Diamond to Star Wars: The Clone Wars to Avatar to Lost to True Blood as animators, cinematographers, and producers, and the president of HBO Films is an alumni. Through the system of alumni, there are countless connections to the film industry, which leads me to:
The Opportunities:
Semester in LA Program (SiLA): "...five intensive weeks during which students maintain full-time Columbia status while acquiring direct experience in what it takes to make a mark in the world’s most competitive film production environment...Classes are held on the historic Raleigh Studios lot, which is Hollywood's oldest and longest continually-operated studio.
The Production Fund: "...a resource dedicated to assisting advanced film and video projects that are being produced by undergraduate and graduate students. Annually, the Department awards as much as $100,000 to successful applicants."
The Big Screen: "Our annual student film festival...has become one of the most anticipated film events in Chicago. This juried competition of student produced films and videos celebrates the creative diversity and incredible talent in the department, while also offering cash awards and trophies for Best of the Fest, Audience Award, Best Script, and Best Treatment."
And there is so much more!
Now, I know I have to get back to reality. This move, should it happen, would be incredibly expensive. Going to school at Columbia is about twice as much as what I'm paying now. That's a lot more student loans to pay after I graduate. Plus, I'd have to find out if a transfer within the company I work for is even an option. If not, I'd need a job. Though, I don't think that would be too hard, but you never know. So there are still a great many things to consider and work out, but I'm in love with this dream. And for now I want to dream. And to just know that there is a chance that I might be able to live this dream is enough for me. And who knows, since this wouldn't happen for another 8 months, I may have a new dream by then. :)
Okay, I'm getting a little theatrical now. I'll end this 2500 word entry here. I apologize for the length. There are only so many times that I can mull over all of this information before it overwhelms my brain and I have to get it out. Thanks for being patient and reading this and hopefully following the links. :)
Much love,
AmberMarie
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